Rose #9//Lil Peep

#47: Star Shopping

Again, she pulled on my arm, giving me just enough time to grab for the box of chocolates.

At her rage of movement, I was reminded once more of the difference between Amanda and I. But also, I take back the idea that I... we, meaning Gus and I were some sort of exception. If it weren't for her (Amanda), Gus would've been just a... memory.

It was such a realization that I stopped her from walking so quickly. "Amanda."

As she head turn, all her hair followed, landing onto her face with such delicacy. "What?"

You could hear her excitement. The rush kind, the kind that I seemingly felt before but can't recall when.

"Amanda, Amelia, over here."

We both looked up, seeing that Damien and a blur of other people stood together at a table.

"Yeah, hold on!" Amanda hollered back, then waited on me to proceed in what I had to say.

"Uh, I just wanted to-" I was struggling but finally, I said it. "Thanks for being my friend."

Smiling, she respond to it. "You too."

From there, she grabbed my hand and guided us to where everyone was and the closer we got, I caught on. It wasn't Damien and Gus with a group of boys, instead it was a pair of girls facing the opposite way.

The one with short hair had to be...

"We're going to Skudin, you guys down?" Damien asked, directing the question at Amanda and I.

Immediately, Gus tapped the shoulder of the girl I was trying to recall, and when she turned, the name Emma deemed into my head. Including the memory of her dragging me to the playground when we were younger.

"Yeah, we'll go." Amanda, as usually, spoke for me.

"I'm not." All our heads shifted to the girl beside Emma, she was now standing, facing in our direction. She began to look more familiar.

"Come on Chels, I thought you wanted to go?" Emma laughed, playfully kicking her friend in the knee.

"Tyler texted."

"Lame." Emma replied, "So how are we all going to the beach, if you-"

"One of the girls can use my bike." The girl, Chels shifted everyone's eyes onto me and Amanda. At that point, I took notice of the bikes laying around us, now it became entirely clear. It was too much for me to handle that I had to get out of the situation immediately.

Looking to Amanda, I felt the humiliation settle in. "I could just go to practice."

It was then that Damien stepped in, "You can still go, I'll give Chels's bike back to her when we come back."

My eyes were shifting, but not in Gus's direction. I could feel my face going red as I finally came to a decision. "No, uh it's okay, I-"

My eyes momentary met with Gus's, "Maybe some other time."

"Are you sure?" Amanda whispered, her expression could see I was in distress.

Aggressively, I nodded as the stupidity of holding a chocolate box came to reality. Why was I thinking this hang out was a duplication of last time...

"Besides, Skurdin is a bit far." I was only making eye contact with Amanda, as she released my hand, stepping slowly away from me.

"Uh okay, if I'm not back, let Ms. Almara know I got picked up."

I nodded, my hands holding onto the box in front of me. "Yeah, I'll let her know."

"And if Coach asks where I am, just tell her I'm sick."

Again, I nodded and awkwardly turned away. There was no need to look at Gus and Emma, and as I walked further away, I realized that they were like a pair, meaning that she'd be standing on his pegs and not m...

How stupid could I... and for some odd reason, I felt my eyes water up. Continuously, I blinked as this unknown feeling began to build up insi...

"Chris!"

Great, I had to turn around quickly, seeing that Gus was running over, and once he was close enough, I took a step back.

"Yeah?"

"Chels said it's okay, if you wanna change your mind."

Quickly, I shook my head. "No, I-"

In a pause, I thought of an excuse that held some truth. "I'm not good at riding a bike, I mean I do know how to, but I'll probably just end up hurting myself or something."

Like running into oncoming traffic.

He let out a laugh, then a pause ceased into existence, and just as I lifted my eyes to meet with his. He motioned to the box in my hand, "I think you brought that for me."

Our eyes met for a split second and as if it were a demand, I held it out. "Oh yeah, I forgot I had it."

Slowly, he took it and for a moment he looked it over, "I think the walnut one was my favorite, the packaging looks a bit different."

My smile was becoming more genuine and when he hand it back, our eyes met in solitude. "Can you leave it in that bush outside your house? I'll pick it up later tonight."

"Yeah, okay."

"Cool, and if you could, answer my text."

How does a person go from almost crying to smiling like an idiot for another person. If someone could answer that, it would be greatly appreciated.

--

Continuosly, I checked the window for Gus. From homework, to fake sleeping in bed I waited. It was a little past midnight, when I decided to sit at the window, looking at each star as if there was a better one each time.

It was until midnight, Gus approached the small bush, and from where I could see, he had his phone out and within a few seconds a combining thread of text messages appeared on the screen of my iPhone.

I'll be at the pool tomorrow

We can hang out

Just me and u

In reply, I pressed o then k.

🐥