Dust ✔️

Chapter Eighteen - Capitulation

The focus on my hands didn't last long before I was looking at her once again, unable to help myself. She was so goddamn beautiful. It baffled me that she was here, standing in the mess that I created as if it didn't bother her at all. Did it? It boggled me that she remained so calm throughout the whole time she was here. But I couldn't get inside her head, she hadn't said a single word.

"Seriously, you should probably go. I shouldn't have called you." I almost laughed, a nervous breakdown coming through. Soon as she left, I could plan my attack.

She didn't look my way, which only drove me mad. She continued to snoop around my room before her eyes traveled to the framed photo on my nightstand. I stiffened when she picked it up and examined it further. Defenseless.

Finally, she set it down and twirled her body around slowly to face me.

Her eyes burned into me but my eyes were blurred, staring through her, I stared at nothing in particular. A single tear streamed down the side of my face but I flashed a smile as an attempt to cloak my emotions.

She walked up to me slowly, cautiously. I remained still, gazing at the hole in the wall across the room. Her delicate fingers reached up and touched the side of my face, tracing down my cheekbone and wiped the salty tear away. I repressed a flinch.

I forced myself to look back at her and when I realized her body was close to mine, oddly putting me into a relaxing state. Her touch sent chills all throughout my body.

"You're fine," She murmured.

I'm fine. Am I? Those were words I was not expecting her to say. Perhaps if I called Tyler, things would have been easier to dissociate, but the last thing I would want is to worry him with my weird behavior. If he came here, he'd see the rage.

I closed my eyes, feeling a small radiation of peace with her beside me. My eyelashes stuck to the skin beneath my eyes, drenched in salty water. I reached my hand up and grasp my hand around her small wrist gently, keeping her hold on my face. I liked having that there. I was never touched, and as much as was uncomfortable, it felt soothing.

"Do you really believe that?" I whispered.

I gave her an apologetic smile and softly removed her hand away from my face. I stepped away from the wall, and walked a few steps forward, leaving her behind me. "I'm such a fuck up," I muttered. "You don't even want to know what I'm thinking."

"Why? What's going on?" Her voice echoed behind me. Compassion oozed in her sound.

I laughed. "Christ, Aria," I spat. "How could you possibly stand here next to me and think everything is fine?"

"Because I know better," She retorted. "Whatever it is, you can work past it."

"I killed someone," I muttered, angry enough for her to hear me say the words out loud.

Soon to be multiple people.

I let her digest the words, expecting the sound of a door opening and closing, but I heard nothing. How is that possible?

"Uh," She started, an uneasiness spiked in her pretty voice. "Come again?"

My hands shook from the nerves and anxiety that had overcome me. Finally, I turned around and faced her, to which she just stood there, gawking at me. Her eyes,  buggy, making them bigger than they already were. I almost got distracted by them.

I gave a distorted smile and raised my bloodied hands in surrender.

She stared at the blood and I watched as her mind wandered into a different place. She was thinking about something horrifying but it only lasted a moment. Her composure switched back to calm.