6:54

:29

A few days passed since I had moved into Ashton's place. At first it was awkward and we didn't talk for a whole day, but then he asked me if I wanted cocoa-pops and we seemed to go back to our usual selves. It's strange living here. My room is huge and spaced out and I have a huge glass window as a wall. It looked out into the city and I loved it more than anything. I had decided not to put all my posters back up. I was a grown women now and I needed to get passed the ripped magazine pages before they became apart of my future will. 

It was around 10pm and I had no idea if Ashton was asleep or not. I had been lying in bed, my laptop sitting on my lap while I wrote down anything and everything that came to my head. 

I had started my book.

I liked the way it started. Instead of doing one of those boring documentary books, I had decided to write my life as a fictional novel. It's pretty much going to be my whole life, with a few tweeks here and there. I was excited to write and I spent about 3 hours writing the first and second chapter. 

I put my laptop aside and climbed out of the spot I had been sitting in for hours, and walked towards the kitchen. Ashton and I had decided to share the food in the fridge. Each week we'd go shopping together and take turns with who'd pay for it. I liked that idea, it made things so much more simpler -No labels, no guilt and no stealing. When I got to the kitchen, Ashton was already there, making a coffee. 

"Hey," I smiled slightly. 

"Hey," He repeated with a content smile, "Coffee?"

"Yes please," I replied. He grabbed another coffee cup out of the cupboard and dropped a teaspoon of coffee into it, "Two sugars," I stated. He smiled. 

"Just how I like mine," He grinned. 

"I guess we're just meant to be," I stated jokingly, but it didn't come out as much of a joke as I'd liked it to. He just looked at me and smiled,"So the wedding is in two days," I mentioned.

"That came really quickly," He commented. I nodded in agreement, "Stella looks amazing in her dress," 

"I bet she does," He chuckled, "She paid so much for it all," He let out a small sigh, "I bet you look amazing in the bridesmaid dress as well," He looked up at me but I looked at my fingers as he did so. I hated when he said stuff like that because it reminds me of everything we've been through, from the moment I googled YouTube to this exact moment right here. It makes my heart flutter and do flips inside my body and it gives me hope. Hope that maybe, this whole band thing doesn't matter and that we can work it all out when the time comes, but then I remember he's getting even more famous by the second. More girls join the band wagon at every moment of the day and that means more tours, more nights away, more cities, town, countries. More excuses. It just can't work out with his busy schedule, my attachment to home, our lives just don't sync together, even though everything else does and probably will up until we're both lying on our death beds. 

I can't help but think...Will I regret letting him go when i'm lying on that exact death bed?

"Stella's nephew is coming up tomorrow. She's asked me to be his date. Something about the way the wedding is set out. I couldn't say no," I could see his face faulter slightly, even in the dark room with only the dark lamp shining in the corner and the bright moonlight coming from the window. I felt bad. My plan was to take him from the start, I think it was just an automatic thing, that he'd be my partner, but it was her wedding and there was no way I was going to say no because of some stubborn feeling in my chest.

"Me and the boys are still playing, right?" He asked before sipping his coffee. Stella had asked the boys if they could play a few sets for the night. Just a few Go Radio covers, maybe some of The Rolling Stones, you know... Just to get the crowd going. Of course they wouldn't be up their all night.