6:54

:7

18th of January

Ashton's POV

The only feeling I hated more than guilt was the feeling of rejection. But not just any rejection. Recjection from her. From Grace. I've been lying in my room for at least an hour, checking my phone every 5 minutes, even though it wasn't on silent. I just wanted to hear from her. There's nothing I want more than to just listen to that angellic voice one last time. It's not like I was half way across the world anymore. I was home and as far as I know, I'm here to stay. For a while at least. So why hasn't she made herself known? Surely she regrets not contacting us. Even if it wasn't for me, she would want to catch up with Lola who -By the way- Is almost as keen as the rest of us. I think she's scared though. She acts like she's all cool with it, but I think she feels guilty deep down for moving away with us. I couldn't blame her either, really. I mean, nothing against Lola she's great, but then if I introduced a friend to a bunch of girls, then he went and got on a plane to go and live with them in London for a year, I'd be pretty annoyed. But knowing Grace like I do, I don't think she would have put any thought into it. She was probably too caught up in school work and avoiding us at all costs that Lola would have completely slipped her mind.

I grabbed my phone and pressed the button, but nothing came up. Just my wallpaper, which was of Grace at Warped Tour. She was wearing my sunglasses and had the tag around her neck that they were selling for 15 bucks. Behind her was the stage with one of the bands playing. She was laughing and her hair was blowing in the wind. She was happy. It felt like yesterday that we were there, and that night. Oh that perfect, special night. The night she fully let me in -No pun intended. I didn't even know we were going to do that. We had only briefly made up that day at the concert, and I think she was just sick of all the drama. I know I was. That day she found out our relationship was a bet, that week while we were there, I could see it killed her seeing me. It killed me seeing her. Especially with Calum. I tell him that I forgive him, and I do understand that he was just being a good friend, but when you love someone that much, and your entire life goal is to protect them with every inch of your being, seeing them with one of your best mates because you're the one that hurt her in the first place, it just...It ripped me to shreds. I remember one night I slept by her door with nothing but a pillow because knowing she wasn't crying into her pillow or hurting herself, comforted me to the point of sleep. I fretted her touch during that time, and for the first few weeks on tour it was exactly the same, except during those weeks I didn't have anything to comfort me. I guess that's why I started writing to her. It felt right to put pen to paper and just write my thoughts down. It kinda helped when I put it through the post box, too. As if maybe, just maybe this time she'll reply.

I groaned and flopped back onto my bed. I missed her more than ever, and I know it's taking a toll on me, but I just can't get past it. Not until I've gotten her back. I know thats a long shot, considering I was semi-famous now, and our manager can easily put us on a plane back to LA at any point. It made me wonder how she coped about our songs to her. They were played on the radio constantly and surely she would have heard them at least once right? The boys and I -Luke actually- thought it'd be a nice way to get through to her and tell her we hadn't forgotten about her. They all worried that she was feeling left out and rejected from the group, but I knew she didn't because I knew she was getting my letters. None of the boys knew I was sending her them, they just assumed I was writing more music or something.

"Ashton?" Luke asked, pushing open the door. He walked in and sat on my office chair, "Hey" He said casually.

"Hey," I chuckled, "What's up? Miss me already?" I smirked. I wasn't going to lie, living with the 5 of them for an entire year does attach you to them. Even though it was a huge house with 4 stories and a seperate recording studio and the best look out in LA pretty much, we still were quite close as a friend group. Jackson and Lola lived on the highest floor with Michael, then Luke, Calum and I shared the floor underneath that, which were pretty much just bed rooms and a small lounge room. Underneath there, there was another floor where the kitchen was and a huge lounge room, then beneath that was the pool and pathway to the studio. I usually wrote my letters to Grace on the balcony of our floor. It was a perfect view of the sunset, and when it was almost time for it to disappear, and the sky was a really dark orange, you could see just one palm tree sticking up from the rest of them. That bloody unique tree gave away so many of the boys' hook ups when they came over. One girl took a photo of it and posted it on instagram without even realising that I had done the same not even two days before.