In His Eyes

Chapter Thirty-Seven

V E R O N I C A

I can't sleep these days. You know when as a kid you get so excited about a trip or something like that and you can't fall asleep because you can't wait for that moment to become the new reality and you really look forward to it.

Well, that's what's been happening to me these days.

I don't exactly know how it happened but it doesn't matter. So, I'm very grumpy and I have bags under my eyes. Maybe I don't but i feel like I do have them.

As for Damon. We've been doing lots and lots of talking these days. We still haven't kissed. Maybe that's what's bugging me the most. He didn't make any move to kiss me and he seemed genuinely invested in the catching up part.

Maybe it's better, you know? I've never been serious with anyone before. Hell, I've never had a serious conversation with my parents. I have no idea how people do that. I mean, do I need to sign some contract or keep close to some code. I wonder how it's like waking up and remembering you have a boyfriend.

Jeez, that must be scary as frick.

And what do I do if we argue. I don't think me and Damon have argued before.

You did, the night before you left.

We agreed to never talk about that, Veronica.

I'm not even sure I know how to argue. How do I know what words to say? I don't even know. I've never cared about a topic enough to actually argue about it.

I've always looked at situations like if I do argue, I'm not gaining anything because they are not actually important. I have nothing to prove to them or tell them, in other words nothing was important enough. I didn't see any point besides overworking your vocal cords.

I was always thinking some people are always going to think you are wrong or hate you for no reason at all. And that's the truth. But mostly, I didn't care at all, I didn't care about anything or anyone and I always looked at every person the same.

But now I'm getting kind of scared. I'm talking to someone I have feelings for. That's scary, I have no clue what I'm getting into. All I know is that people cry less when they are single.

Should that scare me?

Man I feel like a thirteen year old teen girl who is about to have her first kiss or relationship. But on the other hand I'm completely relaxed considering the fact that I'm basically dealing with a male version of myself. And I know how to deal with myself so damn good. That's some real bond right there.

So, whatever happens in the future, at least I'll face it with an extra power ranger beside me.

Nevertheless, today is Christmas, officially. We were kind of late to put up the big Christmas tree. So, Damon and I put up some smaller tree yesterday. Blake actually left us alone, on purpose. Him and Damon are very sneaky little bastards.

As I said before, we are all celebrating together. We agreed to not get any presents for anyone and instead get some special food from home to eat like the pigs we are.

It's crazy how as a kid, I used to get excited for almost everything and I really had goals which I managed to make a reality every time because I had motivation and I was happy. Childhood me was okay with hanging out with adults and having no idea what the heck they were talking about but just being happy that I wasn't alone, I used to be this easygoing and friendly person and holidays were my favorite, not because of the presents- considering that I always got what I wanted the second I wished for it, but this tradition we had where we'd sit in the living room, watching 'Home alone' and countless other movies while it was snowing and always watching fireworks from above the city.