Glee-done (Discontinued)

Season 4, Episode 18 - Last Chance (Shooting Star Redone)

 That morning the New Directions were at Booty Camp as Mr. Schue had an announcement. "I hold in my hand, ladies and gentlemen, our competition for regionals," Mr. Schue smiled as the New Directions cheered excitedly. "Drumroll, please," Mr. Schue said as the New Directions all did an air drum roll. "From North Central High School in Indianapolis, the Hoosierdaddies," Mr. Schue said as the New Directions cheered. "That's very clever," Tina nodded approvingly. "And from Zeigler Preparatory School in Cincinnati, Ohio, the Waffletoots," Will said as the New Directions cheered as Brittany walked over somewhat concerned. "Guys, I like our chances against both these squads, but we still got a lot of work to do," Will began as Brittany then cut him off "Mr. Schue, please stop talking," Will looked at her confused. "I have an announcement. I regret to inform you a deadly asteroid is headed our way," Brittany said seriously as the New Directions all looked at her confused. "Wait, didn't we just go through this at Christmas?" Blaine asked in disbelief. "Yeah, and is it true you and Sam got married? Did that happen?" Tina asked. "Shut up, Tina," Brittany said slightly annoyed as she went back to what she was saying "I'm naming this comet. Tubbington-Bopp, and it is headed straight for Lima." "Wait, so is it an asteroid or a comet?" Artie asked. "It's both," Brittany said nodding. "Wouldn't NASA know something about this?" Marley asked. "We can't trust NASA. I mean, last month a meteor exactly like Tubbington-Bopp hit Russia with no warning at all," Brittany said seriously. "Oh, so now it's a meteor," Artie said in disbelief. "That's right, Artie, And when this meteorite hits, I will not be spending my time in this room preparing for regionals. I will be spending my last hours making amends with somebody who I need to get right with. Someone who I love very much," Brittany said seriously as Sam looked at her thinking she might be talking about him. "Lord Tubbington," Brittany said seriously as Sam as well as the rest of the New Directions made faces. "So go back to your homes and hide your wife, hide your kids and hide your wife. McKinley High, I salute you," Brittany said as she walked off as Sam made a face, if the world was really ending why was the only thing she thought she needed to make amends with was Lord Tubbington?

Cut to the choir room where everyone is talking about Tubbington-Bopp. "I'm really surprised that Jesus Christ Superstar has chosen to end the world this way instead of the way he killed off the dinosaurs, which was a global yeast infection," Brittany said seriously. "Do you think God will let me be a girl angel in heaven?" Unique asked. "Wait, there are girl and boy angels? Does that mean you can have angel sex?" Sam asked a little too enthusiastically. "All right. Show of hands. Who's worried about. Brittany's meteor/asteroid/comet prediction?" Mr. Schue asked as Sam's hand shot up as did Unique's. "Okay. Well, here's how I see it. There are two possible outcomes. First, the meteor misses us and we go to regionals and we kick butt, which will only happen if we prepare. Or we only have a few days to live and if that's the case, we need to say everything we need to say to the people we love. I can tell you from those couple of weeks where I couldn't talk to Emma that there is nothing worse than unfinished business with the one you love. And meteor or no meteor any moment you have with those people might be your last one." Mr. Schue then got up to write on the board "Bruce Springsteen always says that he plays every show as if it's his last, and that is the kind of urgency we need at regionals this year. So this week we're either gonna sing our last songs to each other or get in touch with what it feels like to do that," Mr. Schue said as he wrote 'Last Chance' on the board as the theme for the week as the bell rang. "Okay, everyone. Let's make the most of it," Mr. Schue smiled as everyone went to exit the choir room.

Cut to Brittany's room as she's kneeling beside the bed as Sam is sitting next to her. "Lord Tubbington, I know that through the years we haven't always gotten along. Like the time that you filed paperwork to have me committed or the time you told the police that I was the one that brutally murdered that whole family of mice. But I want you to know that through it all, I always loved you," Brittany said as she pet him as Lord Tubbington stayed silent. "I don't think he believes me. 'Cause he won't say that he loves me, too," Brittany frowned. "What's Lord Tubbington's favorite song? I mean, maybe you could let him know how much he means to you by singing it to him," Sam suggested trying to hide the fact that he was hurt. "Well, I stopped singing to Lord Tubbington out of protest when he joined the KKKK, which is the Ku Klux Klan for Kats," Brittany said seriously. "You know, you could bring him by and then we could all sing to him. That way, you know, he'll see how much you love him, and everybody else in the glee club will stop feeling like you're choosing a cat over them," Sam said as Brittany nodded. "Sam, despite your outlandishly low test scores, you're a genius," Brittany smiled at him as Sam smiled back at her as we cut to the auditorium where Sam is playing the guitar to 'More Than Words' by Extreme.