Chance of a Lifetime

Chapter 23

*Jimin's POV*

Later that night, after a rather lengthy lovemaking session that you hoped had proved once and for all how much you loved her, you sat leaning on a pillow against the headboard with the sheet covering you from the waist down and watched her sleep. Her hair was splayed out beneath her head. Her eyes were closed, her lips slightly open. The sheet didn't quite cover her nakedness. Her breast only hidden by her arm. Her hand resting softly on the pillow next to her face. One leg stuck outside of the sheet, while the other was hidden. She looked peaceful. She looked beautiful. But she also looked thin. Tired.

You brought your hand up to gently stroke her cheek, careful not to wake her. She let out a long sigh and you stilled your hand. The arm covering her breast reached over to touch your chest. Even in her sleep she reached out for you. Your hand resumed its caress on her face when you knew she was fully asleep again. If she only understood how badly you wanted to help her. If she only understood that she didn't need to do all of those crazy things to make herself look better – you thought she looked amazing already.

But deep down you knew it had to do with her being able to love herself. And that was not something you could fix. That wasn't something you could just make her do. It was something she needed to learn to do on her own. If she didn't love herself, if she didn't think she was enough, nothing in the world you could say would change where she was. She needed to come to terms with accepting herself on her own. Maybe talking with someone would get her on the right path to that conclusion, but she had to do all the work and if she wasn't ready, you couldn't make her.

You ran a hand down your face and looked out the window, heaving a big sigh. The original plan was for you to get the staff medical team to talk with her to assess where she was and possibly make recommendations for when she went back home. Maybe that was still the right place to start. Maybe it wasn't. If she wasn't ready, she wasn't ready and she wouldn't accept the help. You just didn't know what to do.

You looked back at her sleeping body and carefully extracted yourself from the bed. Finding your underwear, you slipped it on and headed out to the kitchen for a drink. You were surprised to find Jin there as well. He was standing at the sink, looking out the window, seemingly in his own world.

"Hey," you said in greeting, trying not to startle him. He jumped, so that clearly didn't work.

"Hey," he replied, turning around quickly. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah, I just couldn't sleep." You answered, standing next to him, looking out the window. Jin turned back around and did the same.

"Yeah, me either," he admitted.

"Why can't she just see it? Why can't she just see how beautiful she is and that she is worthy? That she is enough?" you asked, the weariness clearly in your voice.

"Jimin-ssi, we asked the same thing of you only a few short years ago. 'Why can't he see how amazing he is? Why is he so hard on himself? Why does he feel like he has to work ten times harder than the rest of us?'" Jin turned to you. "Ultimately, you had to be in a position to realize that your mistakes did not define you. That you were good enough. That you looked good enough." Jin looked down at his hands, then back up at you. "In all honesty, sometimes I wonder if you think that still."

You looked at him, somewhat startled at his admission. You closed your eyes and sighed, then looked into his eyes. "Sometimes my mind wants to go back there. Our fans deserve the best and I'm not sure I am always giving my best because of fatigue, or pain, or voice issues. I feel badly when I can't perform at my best and I let them down. But then I go online and see that most of ARMY worries about me and all of us and doesn't see what I do." You looked out the window again. "I have to trust that what I do on any given night is enough." Jin put his hand on your shoulder and you look back at him.

"It is. You're Park Jimin! ARMY loves you, man. And we all do. We have to get her to a place where she sees the same thing."

*Reader POV*

You woke to the feeling of Jimin's arms around you. One arm cradling your head, the other possessively around your stomach. You smiled knowing how romantic he had been during your lovemaking earlier. He was tender, gentle, loving. He took his time, like he had all the time in the world. Like there was no rush. You breathed deeply and settled into his sleepy embrace. You realized something during that time. You were in love with him. Despite the ambush of earlier in the evening, and the hurt you felt that they thought you needed help, you loved him. You understood where he was coming from. Where they all were coming from.

He had been through a horrible time, skipping meals, working tirelessly, only getting an average of 3 hours of sleep a night. You knew he had been through similar issues. That's partly what drew you to him as your bias after all. You hated that you brought out bad memories for them, especially Jimin. You didn't want to be a trigger for him to revert to old, harmful habits. But you knew he was stronger now. He had his brothers and a great medical staff that kept an eye on him and all the members to be sure they were healthy.

In all honesty you weren't sure how you felt about the whole intervention thing. You appreciated their concern, but you didn't think they understood. Your struggles, although similar to Jimin's, were different. His had to do with the stage and looking right for the fans. Yes, it also had to do with him being so hard on himself, but again, he wanted to be the best for his fans. You? You just wanted to be the best for you. And you weren't there yet. You had a few pounds left to go. When you got there, you'd finally be able to love yourself. And that was the end game. The final goal. But right now, you weren't there. You'd get there, come hell or high water.

Sighing once more, you snuggled closer to his bare chest, your bottom fitting snugly against his most private parts. His hand instinctively tightened around your waist and the arm near your head adjusted so it crossed your chest, his hand resting near the other arm near your waist. You loved the feel of him wrapped around you. Protectively. Possessively. If you could stay in this bed all day and all night with him wrapped around you, you'd happily do it.

His skin was soft, his touch magic. You could feel the love he felt for you – yes, now you knew for certain it was love he felt – envelope you in his embrace. There was no question in your mind how he felt about you and how you felt about him. It scared you. No doubt about that. You lived in two different worlds, but you were in love just the same. Maybe it would work. Maybe it wouldn't. That was something to figure out later, when you were more awake. For now, you'd rest in his embrace and cherish every moment you had together.