Chance of a Lifetime

Chapter 16

Over the next few days, you settled into life in Korea. Well, ok, life for the next two weeks. You picked up a few phrases the guys had taught you and you began to learn their customs. It was interesting to see the differences between their country and your own. It was like a whole new world to you and you were enjoying every minute.

The guys still had rehearsals and meetings to conduct while you were in town, so many times you were left to tour the city or visit a museum, or simply hang out at the dorm. Sometimes, however, the guys brought you with them to the studio so you could watch practices. You loved those times the most. You could see first-hand how they learned new choreography and how they polished older choreography. You especially loved to watch Jimin dance. You could honestly watch the man dance for hours. His precision, his grace, his emotions...even with the most difficult moves and upbeat songs, somehow he always looked like sex and passion. His lines were exquisite. His facial expressions were sublime. His body moved easily through any combination of moves. The ones full of body rolls and hip thrusts were your favorite. Those were the ones you could envision the two of you in bed together. He was basically sex on stage, or in this case, the studio floor.

But there was never a meal you weren't alone, which made it difficult to keep to your usual plan. Normally, you'd skip breakfast, eat a very small lunch and maybe have dinner. Now that you've been here, a few days, you could see you were gaining weight. You could practically see the pounds pile on by the minute. Thankfully there was a scale in the dorm that you could use and use it you did. Each morning as usual, you would strip down to your birthday suit and hop on the scale, praying for a loss. Sometimes, by the grace of God, you lost. More often than not, you'd gain, even if it was just two-tenths of a pound. And it inevitably sent you into a bad mental space for a while. It was during those times Jimin brought you to the studio with them. And it usually helped. But today, it just wasn't.

They had just taken a break and you sat under the mirror on your phone, journaling in your fitness app.

"Another half a pound up today. I'm legitimately freaking out. Now what do I do?! Do I eat or not? Really wish I could run today. I'm just stunned. I don't know what to do. I CAN'T gain this weight back!! That's 3lbs overall that I've gained back and it literally sends panic through my body."

You quickly closed the app as Jimin sat down next to you and took a long drink from the water bottle he held in his hand. You tried to give him a smile, but even you could feel it didn't reach your eyes.

"How's it going? You guys look great. I wish I had half of the talent you all have."

Jimin looked at you as you spoke. He could tell the way you were sitting and looking at him that you weren't ok. And he knew what you were obsessing over. And he knew what he needed to do.

"Y/N, we need to talk," he began, and shifted so he faced you. Putting the bottle in his lap, he grabbed your hands and linked his fingers with yours. Your heart began to race. When someone says, "we need to talk" it's never a good sign.

You swallowed audibly and looked around to see some of the guys trying to hide the fact they were watching.

"Here? Now?" You said, looking back at Jimin. He looked at the guys and agreed that perhaps some place more private would be better. He stood up and pulled you with him and lead you over to a room that was off the practice room. He opened the door with one hand, while still holding yours in the other. He let go only long enough to shut the door and close the blinds so no one could look in. He took your hand in his once again and smiled softly. You looked into his eyes and tried to smile back.

"Y/N, I'm worried about you." Well, that wasn't what you thought he'd say. Relief left your body. You thought perhaps he would say he didn't like you anymore and wanted you to return to the states. Of course you had no idea why he would say that either, but it was the only thing you could think of. So when he said he was worried about you, it was a relief to hear.

"Why? I'm fine." You smiled a genuine smile. You went in to kiss him on the lips, but he pulled away. Your eyebrows were scrunched, and your lips fell into a straight line. "Jimin, what's going on?" Now it was your turn to pull away.

"I'm worried about you. I'm worried that you're not taking care of yourself properly. I'm worried you could be going down the same path I did."

"Jimin, really I'm ok. I've eaten more since I've been to Korea than I have in a while," and that was no lie. "I am fine. Please don't worry." You stepped closer to him again and laid a hand against his cheek and smiled. "Don't worry." You looked him in the eye and kissed his lips gently.

"Baby, you are so thin. Too thin. I want you to be careful. I want you to be healthy and happy." Jimin pleaded. His eyes earnestly looked into yours. He took your hands in his and brought them to his mouth and planted a kiss to both of them. "Promise me you'll be careful. Promise me you won't lose anymore."

That you couldn't – and wouldn't – promise. But you could promise to be careful. That was one thing you could do and if it helped to get him off your back you'd do it. "I'll be careful. I promise." He smiled at you and hugged you. You hugged him back, but now you had some work to do.

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*Jimin's POV*

Well, it wasn't the talk you wanted to have. She did make a good point. She seemed to have been eating since she came to Korea, which was good. But he tried to make sure of that by making sure at least one person was with her at mealtimes. Although, there had been times she had been alone for meals. He wondered if she even ate when she was alone. But maybe she was ok. Maybe since coming to Korea she would come out the other side. Maybe he was trying, inadvertently, to project his past issues onto her. Maybe he was seeing something that wasn't there.

But you didn't think so. Something was off and you couldn't completely let it go, especially after reading that excerpt from her journal a few months ago and then seeing she had lost weight when she arrived. You kissed her back gently and allowed the subject to drop after she promised to be careful. But you had every intention of continuing to pay close attention to her. You weren't letting it go, even if she hated you for it later.

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*Reader POV*

You hoped you alleviated his fears. You would continue to eat, but you would do extra workouts to combat the potential weight gain. This losing weight journey was about to get a whole lot tougher. Were you up for it? You had no idea, but you were panicked enough to do whatever it took. The talk with Jimin made you nervous. He was obviously playing close attention, but you were determined to not gain the weight back. Determined to not become the person you once were. Determined to become someone even you would like.

Their big message at the moment was to love yourself. Ha! You weren't there yet, but maybe in a few more pounds you would be. First you had to work off the 3 pounds you gained back. Then you could work on losing more.