SIN

Not gon' cry

REMEMBER: VOTE FIRST!

December, Saturday

Jade

Dear Ms. Jade Waters. This is to notify you that your failure to pay the rent since, November 1, 2019, for apartment address 735, Point View Street, King City, Jersey 77564 has rendered you in violation of our lease agreement dated March 10, 2018. The amount due for payment sums up to $875.

You are hereby requested to pay the above-mentioned amount within 3 working days or vacate the premises. Failure to do so will compel me to file an eviction suit against you. Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated.

I will never be able to live in another apartment ever again. Is immediately the first thing that comes to my mind after I read the letter. I don't know what I expected when I made the decision to come back here. I don't know what I freaking expected.

I knew this was coming sooner or later. But even then, I still put my key in the keyhole and try to twist. It moves neither left or right. They changed the locks of course. The small number of furnitures that I have in there will definitely be going straight to trash.

I just thank God that I got most of my clothes before I left.

As I stand before that same place that I moved in last year, a few memories flashed in my head. I remember the day my mom's friend, Tinka, walked into her kitchen, where my mother and I were happily cooking, and told us that she wanted us to leave her house in two weeks. I remember how desperate both my mother and I sounded when we pleaded her to reconsider. She'd claim that my mother was fucking her boyfriend and that she was adamant about us leaving. I didn't believe her, but I complied.

I remember spending one week, just straight begging a woman to give me a housekeeping job, even though I already had a job, I knew that they paid thirteen dollars hourly. I knew that I would need that money in able to afford at least a cheap apartment. I remember how wasted my mom would get as the weeks went by at Tinka's house. I didn't read too much into it because I knew that was her way of escaping the stress. I remember the day she lost her job and everything fell back on me because nobody would hire a drunk.

I remember the day the weeks were up but I hadn't been approved for the apartment yet, Tinka threw our clothes out as if we were animals. I remember how we spent a couple of nights sleeping in my car until a complete stranger offered us a place. I remember how quickly my mom accepted, and I followed through with it, even when I didn't know him. I remember how quickly after a week, he came to ask me for sex as payment. I remember refusing and having him threaten to kick us back out onto the streets. I remember my mom offering up herself as payment as though it was something that she was used to. I remember how much I had to cry myself to sleep, yet pretend to be the happiest person around my friends.

No one knew what I was enduring.

At the time, I remember how I felt when I heard that Kevin had gotten into a car accident. I remember his parents kicking him out because he refused to leave me. He refused to stop helping me. I remember them kicking him out and him having to stay with a friend. I remember how I had to be the one paying his rent, feeding, clothing, and just basically taking care of him as if he was a child. I remember how happy I was when the owner of the apartment finally called me to tell me that I was approved.

Tears stroll down my cheeks as I stare at the door. This same door that I opened very happily when my mother and I finally got away from that man. I thought my life was going to get easier when I finally had my own place. I thought this apartment was my fresh beginning. I thought my mom was finally going to get stable enough to help me out. To take care of me. To be my mom.