Wings of Light

Good For the Pain

Previously on Wings of Light:

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"Do not grin, you psychotic bastard! "Your whorish daughter and your bastard brother are finally imprisoned in a hospital for recovery. Huh? You think it's funny that your daughter and brother are sharing a hospital room together even earlier your brother was institutionalized in an asylum, because of me and my girls? I didn't know your family's tragedy is no laughing matter!"

"Drop the letter opener!"

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"I know this topic has nothing to do with the religion, but it has to do with our moral and value system as every one of a kind sinner seeking God's helping hand, holy light and offered second chance for a persistent battle with our hardships. First and foremost, leaving behind yar family and focusing on something more crucial like career, other lovers that toxically spoil yar marriage is like adding insult to an injury, you know! It's a sin to cheat on somebody even veiling the lie prominently in its cloth of sugarcoated innocence and impossible detection of the truth. As an ex-nun who was raised in a nuclear family with a single mother working a handful of jobs to provide for me and herself, my father left us when I was barely five years old. Yeah, his ongoing pleasures of the free lifestyle dominating over the love and the duties of dedication to the family made me questioned why I was never loved or at least sensing the genuine notion of that magnificent feeling that naturally oozes of your heart. I always thought as a little girl that I and my mother were never good enough and why on the earth it happens to us. Well, here's the answer. The criminally sinful people like my father that are far cry from caring about the family even to bestow with modicum of altruistic support to extend our survival chances even allowing ourselves to be pampered. He thinks it's not a good idea to help his family. He thinks his lovers and his gold digging character will aid him to dig its grave of my mother's tough parenthood. He dug that grave, howsoever, did his lovers loved him back and granted him whatever he yearned for? Did his Genies willed to fulfill his wishes after chanting to their lamps what he actually wanted? Huh?"

"After being through a lot of hardships in the form of heartbreaks, loneliness and salty tears regularly even dark past that is barely shadowed in its mantle of pitch-black darkness to obscure the very segments of my very being, I became a nun. That was some kind of redemption for me to be God's refugee and servant in the same time. I never believed in the true love or at least to find it somewhere in the church. In the very outskirts of the church. All I wanted was a family and I found it after the priest that was in charge of the facility we ran together and he genuinely counted on my experience, intelligence and strictness, there were strong points linking our bond and reckoning the chemistry's potential myriad of privileges even when we are still young." Due to my coveted wish of having family and at least one child to teach and love, it helped me to diminish the chances of beholding Satan's face once I no longer occupy this world. It was an effective medicine. Anyway getting back to my early childhood when I was a half orphan living in a modest household when my father left us, God was constantly conveying its crucial message that my father will go to hell and he will face his judgmental day the day when he disappears either for better or worse. It will be his lesson to rot in hell after leaving a family behind because of his selfishness to chase corrupted women that could satiate fleetly his physical needs, but how about the spiritual ones? Think about it! I and my husband had galore of tribulations, in order to harmonize everything in our family when we couldn't even stare at one another or at least I couldn't at him for more than a few seconds except irking me the way he shot that gaze or glance at me. I knew so far we had a second chance to harmonize and fix the things. We did it! We still do it! He didn't leave me for another woman when I had tough periods of time to fulfill his needs and the patchy void he's wearing beneath and outside him. Because he wasn't as weak as the other partners do to replace anything that they dearly love and strongly believe the things will be repaired slowly but surely. I did the mistake of temporarily replacing him with a man that I believed would be better than him, however, I was completely wrong. It was proved in the manipulative mannerism and excessive flattery I earned smoothly. It was bolt from the blue when I truly fathomed the genuine notion of a difference between a gentleman and a manipulator being capable of foul snow job. It taught me a tremendously utmost lesson. If yar on the verge of moving on in yar life between repairing the impossible- toxic relationship and having potent motives of taking the initial steps of escaping the held grudges and rage; and finding a new love interest that would share similar interests as yours for example, you cannot change the person you once pearly loved. Ya cannot change the others unless yar capable of changing yourself even a little bit at least."