Chapter 23

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My mind went into full panic. My heartbeat sped up, feeling like it was going to full out explode out of my chest. There was a strange pressure in my stomach and adrenaline pumping through my body, yet I couldn't move, I was frozen in place. Ryan had a gas mask on, his voice was cloudy and muffled. Time slowed and my eyes began to refuse to see. I felt like I was nothing, like I was disappearing. My mind was swirling and my feet were heavy. A tear dripped down my face, leaving a trail. My eyesight fully gave out and the panic began to worsen. I fell to the ground with no say in what I was doing, my body refused to be controlled. Everything went black. It felt as if I was drowning in a sea of black, struggling to breathe and see and hear. I fought for all my senses to become controllable again, but it didn't work. A burning sensation filled my chest and lungs and nose entirely, making it harder to breathe than it was before. I started coughing. The burning sensation took over my body, spreading to my legs and torso. I felt the pressure of being picked up by two arms.

The burning began to soothe. I could feel, but I couldn't move. I was conscious, but still unconscious. It was like being blind and deaf. It seemed like miles before the smooth rhythm of Ryan walking and carrying me ended. I was dropped, I made a grunting noise that probably sounded like a pig. I couldn't see still and I couldn't move or hear. I felt paralyzed. I could hear some, but not a lot. The sounds came to me muffled and soft, as if the world was whispering to me. I heard a sound like a clanging. Metal against a counter or other metal items. I felt a cold, thin item placed against my neck.

"You see doll, the sweetness you had at the beginning, never would've lasted. I knew this would happen, I didn't think you would get that far though. Thing is doll, I'm always prepared, and I always win." I knew he was smiling. My body was in full panic. "I wanted us to be happy, that's what I wanted. I realized you and Clancy were probably getting to close, I had to end it. The little girl, she was causing problems too, had to end it. The only reason I had you, was for you to be my daughter. She died and she was my everything. That is what you are to me, and you go and cut my heart open by trying to escape. I don't think so, not again. So now, in return I will cut some of you open, in hopes you will understand what it is like and how I feel. You will be alive when I'm done. I used a gas that makes it impossible for you to see or move, but you can still feel."

He placed the cold object against my thigh, I'm guessing this was a knife. He wiped my leg down with a strong smelling liquid, I winced at its sudden coldness. It was alcohol. My sight was beginning to be restored, but I couldn't move the slightest bit. He placed a necklace against my chest. My clothes were already removed from earlier, when I attempted to wash them. The cold metal of the necklace against my chest soon began to warm up.

"I have placed a rosary on your chest, I'm doing this for good, God knows that."

Sick person. I felt the sharp pain of a slice on my thigh, followed by others, all in different directions. It felt as if he was spelling out a word. The cuts were deep and the blood slowly dripped down my thigh. It tickled, but the pain soon over took. It's thick consistency bothered me and irritated my skin. I'm sure Ryan was smiling at this. He wiped the blood off of an area if my skin and wiped it into the shape of a cross on my forehead.

"This is for your own good, dollface."

He took a sharp breath in, raising the knife.

He was stopped by a loud sound, gunshots.

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