My Personal Virus (A BEN Drowned x Reader fanfic)

Bitter Lost In Sweetness

A/N: The last chapter was just...idk how to describe it, but thank you for the peeps that read it. Anyways this chapter is also going to have a lemon/smut part, but it's going to be incredibly short, there's also a warning in case y'all wanna skip that.

(You)

I was greeted with an aching body, my eyes finally opened, I winced as I looked down to my body only to discover how fully naked I am. I flinched upon this as I quickly searched for something to cover myself, there was a messy blanket right next to me as my hand reached for it, instantly covering my figure with it in shame. The next thing I did was to recollect my memories, when I did I went stiff, I froze with nothing to do or feel.

I had sex with the bastard that ruined my life

That was the only sentence that crossed inside my head. The keyword is sex, meaning he didn't rape me, I gave him access, therefore it was my fault. Though he was the one that started it, perhaps it's ourselves to blame. Suddenly I smacked myself with my own hand, frustration washed over me, I hated everything at the moment.

"Why are you so damn stupid [Name]?!"

I asked myself in which I didn't reply as well. Right here, I rolled violently in the bed with a groan. After throwing a short tantrum, I suddenly stopped and stared at the ceiling. I remembered kissing him back, yes it made me angry at myself again but it made me wonder.

Why did I kiss him back?

Unfortunately, I don't have the answer to that. It happened all too quickly, I was ignoring my own emotions, common sense, and pretty much everything. All I focused around that time was making such lewd things with the person that caused me nothing but pain. I remained frozen, I thought deeply. 

If he caused nothing but pain, then what did he caused when he had sex with me?

Pleasure...

My hand collided with my face once again, I could say that I am currently having a self-conflict. My thoughts made sense but I denied it, I hated at how right it was. I should probably be more honest with myself, mostly I'm denying the obvious truth. I took a deep breath and thought to myself. 

Clearly, I gave in, it was because of the feeling he planted inside of me. I was...craving for that without a reason, it felt undeniably good even when it's bad. It felt all too good for me to handle. So that's what sex feels like huh? It's strange at how amazing it feels. I felt too amazed that I managed to forget my emotions, mostly my anger and hatred. I was willing to give BEN a blowjob...wait.

"I gave him a fucki-ugh!"

Just when I was being incredibly honest with myself, I was cut off by the memory of giving the elf a damn blowjob. I can remember every part of it, the way I used my mouth to pleasure his...and my hand pumping up and down...and his face, his fucking face. My heart squealed, as my face blushed. I can recall his reaction all too perfectly. BEN obviously enjoyed it, the way he bit his lip, the way he gripped my hair, the way he moaned, it was all because of me. Suddenly I started to feel odd, my stomach did summersaults while my heart raced upon remembering such a memory, why did I even enjoy doing that?

I gripped the sheets then bit my lip, my toes curled while my face was flushed. I didn't know what is happening to me but whatever it was it's making me feel confused. Then I felt my lower region starting to heat up, it was very uncomfortable to handle. That's when it hit me, I hated the realization but I have to get rid of the problem somehow. Suddenly the door slowly crept open, swiftly I brought the sheets to cover me whole. I hid and listened to the footsteps as well as the door closing, the footsteps made it's way towards the bed until it stopped, the mattress sunk upon the weight that I felt.