My family always controls me. Always keeps me on the leash. One may wonder why? Because I am a girl. They are afraid that if I get some freedom, I will get a boyfriend, will have sex with him, and will get pregnant with his child only to raise the baby alone because he's going to leave me. Like why would a guy want that kind of burden? Of living with me and a child?
I mean, I may act stupid sometimes because come on, who doesn't? But I am not an idiot. Even if I have a boyfriend, I am not a fool to trust him easily and sleep with him. And if I do, I am sure as hell not that stupid to do it without protection.
Because of that fear, my family doesn't let me have my freedom. I mean, I have it, just not as much as I need.
I am afraid to tell them things. I'm scared that they will peg it in some other way and won't let me do certain things.
I love sports. And I love fighting. I asked them to let me join krav maga classes, they refused. When I told them about my interest in learning gymnastics, they said I was delicate and would break in one fall. They didn't want to deal with a crying broken mess. I want to learn to swim.
Yeah, I don't know how to swim. My family never let me learn. Nor gave me the opportunity. They always deny me permission to learn some sport or extracurricular activities. They said, 'what good it would do me learning all of that?' According to them, since I'm a girl, I don't need to learn all those things. What I need to learn is how to manage the house and be a trophy wife to my future husband.
What good will it do me by learning how to be a trophy wife to my husband? Instead of being his equal, I would be just his prize. Where's the fun it that? What would he do with a trophy? Doesn't a challenge sound more fun? Everyone likes a challenge.
Before, I had a few friends, but my parents scared them off. Well, my whole family. They lectured them for hours to let me out with them somewhere, told them not to let me out of their eyes, not to let me alone for one second.
And me? They forced me to send them photos of us together every 10 mins to make sure there isn't a guy with us.
Those whom I considered friends got tired of my family so so we drifted apart. Not that we were that close in the first place. They stopped inviting me because they didn't want to deal with my family. That's not what real friends are supposed to do. I had shitty friends, and now we are just acquaintances.
I've never had someone with whom I could share my thoughts openly without fearing being judged. To Patrick, I can share some things, but I can't tell him everything. I've never had a real friend, just acquaintances. Nothing more.
So you see, I am alone and lonely. I have no friends. And not a family to brag about to the world.
I love my family, yes. But I just don't like the way they think. I don't like the way they treat me. Or girls in particular. I just don't fit in.
They all are a happy family together. My parents love each other, my uncle and aunt love each other, my parents and uncles are close, too damn close to each other. Hence, we live together. My cousin is the perfect kid one could ask for, and sometimes it gets to my nerves that all the love they have is for him.
Then there is me. I am imperfect. Well, that's what my family says. They tried to change the way I think they strived to make my beliefs and ethics like them. But I couldn't. I refuse to because that is not right. I just can't make myself agree with them.
I learned long before to pretend then to argue. I know how my family works, and I've learned to keep my thoughts to myself. If I said what I thought to them, I would be locked in my own house.
Hell, they believe letting me study is a luxury for me.
Sometimes I wonder why did they even let me live just to treat me like this. I have thought about killing myself several times, but then, I'm not a coward. And I will fight for the life I want.
Killing myself would mean that I gave up. I've survived seventeen years and no way in hell I'd give up now when I have a chance to the life I want; to the future I want to build for myself. However my mother and father maybe, but they sure as hell didn't raise a coward.
"AJ! Get down here, sit with the family!" My mom yelled from downstairs.
I groaned and shut my laptop after saving the document I was writing.
I made my way downstairs to find my family laughs at something. My cousin, Patrick, was typing furiously on his phone.
They all are watching a football match, it what they call El Clássico, it is a match between FCB (Football Club Barcelona) and RMA (Real Madrid Football Club). It's called El Clássico because of the ardent rivalry between both teams.
"Hey dad, uncle," I greet them.
"AJ," my uncle nods at me, while my dad just smiles at me.
I have a sit on the couch beside Rick. "What's up?" I ask softly to my loving cousin.
"Ah, nothing much. You know how it is at the starting of the college," Rick mutters.
"How would I know, Rick, I am still in high school," I sway at him playfully.
My mother sees that and immediately scolds me. "AJ! You are not supposed to hit your big brother! Apologize!"
"I didn't hit him, mom, I just hit him playfully," I forced a smile on my face.
"Well, young lady, you are not supposed to hit him playfully! Apologize to him, or else you are not getting out of this house!" She said a little too angrily.
"Aunt, she didn't hit me," Patrick defends me.
"Apologize, AJ!" my mother ignores him and yells at me.
"Sorry, Patrick," I gritted out. I wanted to say more, but I had to bit my tongue.
"Now, go clean the kitchen!" She scolded
"Give her a break, Dana," I heard my father say quietly to her, it wasn't for me to overhear, but I did.
I silently stand up, relieved to be out of the same place as then, and make my way to the kitchen. I see I have to clean the plates and the messy countertop. My mother and aunt can be too untidy, sometimes. Me too, but at least I tend to clean my mess. They don't.
Great, now I have to clean the mess they created. I have to clean for my family, that's my punishment.
* * *
put a finger down if you have three exams tomorrow and are reading/writing/editing instead of studying
*puts a finger down*
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Fighting for Life | ✓
RomanceShe doesn't fit in the family. Her family is perfect if you don't include her. Her family is overprotective of her. She is a dreamer. She is a bird who is desperate to fly in the open sky at night. But her family won't let her. She is lonely betwee...
