★★
Two stars out of five because this book has potential.
Author: Writingsbymee
Genre: Mystery/General Fiction
Review:
This story is still very young and hasn't been written very far. Thus, it's still a little hard to see where the plot is headed and what it's all about.
The settings and characters could use some description, since they are hard to picture.
I would strongly suggest finding a Grammar Nazi here on Wattpad to help out with fixing grammar and punctuation mistakes. Most of them (the Grammar Nazis) are very nice and they're everywhere. It won't be hard to find someone who is willing to help.
The typography makes it difficult to read the text. Rather start a new paragraph whenever it's the next character's turn to speak.
I recommend explaining the phrases that are from a foreign language. This will help readers to understand your story better. I found that the author frequently jumps between using formal and informal language. It would be better to choose one and stick to it.
The dialogue sounds forced and not very realistic. To the author: try thinking about how a conversation between yourself and someone else would go and use that as a model example.
There are places where the obvious is stated. This may annoy readers. For example,"I could hear familiar footsteps climbing the stairs of our 'sweet home' and it did not take me much time to realize, dad had arrived. (After all, I had grown up listening to those thunderous footsteps!)" could've been reduced to "I could hear my dad's thunderous footsteps, announcing his arrival."
There is no need to explain that the character knows the sound because she grew up listening to it — this is something we, as the reader, could already deduce.
This book is going to need a lot of work, but that's okay because that's how authors grow and become great — by working at it!
YOU ARE READING
Critically So
Non-FictionReviews of discovered and undiscovered books on Wattpad. Fair. Honest. Critically So. [CLOSED] Reviews on all genres and in the following languages: English and Dutch. ********************************* If you are reading this story on any other plat...
