Tordtom oneshots

Once again garbage

Tom was preparing for his fathers funeral. Tord was somewhere. But Tom was with his mom.
She was crying and holding her only child's hand tightly as if something were going to happen to him too. 
"Mom.  I have to tell you something." Tom said.
"Oh god you're dying too." His mom burst into tears. 
"No mom no.  I'm just going to get eye cancer." Tom said quietly.
"oh no.  Thomas." The Norwegian gasped.
"Tord I.  You went supposed to hear that." Tom said.
"Thomas.  Don't you know who I am.  I can help you.  Why didn't you tell me." Tord said with a little tremble in his voice.
"Tom I can't lose you too.  Oh god this is what I get for not being a good mother." Tom's mom cried.
"No no mom.  You are a good mom.  I just took a laser to the face." Tom said smiling.
"Tom just promise me you'll have this man save you.  Please." His mom said taking both of his hands in hers and squeezing them.
Tom nodded.
Tord wasn't his first choice for a cure. He's been looking at hospitals ever since his future self came to stop future Edd from shooting past Edd. Actually, Tom didn't even know Tord was an option at all.
"You should have told me this sooner. I have the most advanced medical staff in the world Thomas." Tord growled.
"I-I know." Tom said looking down, "you've told me this. You sent me a picture that said I survived bitch." Tom said giggling remembering the picture of Tord all bandages up and sticking his tongue out cutely.
"I'm confused. What happened?" Tom's mom asked.
Both males froze up. They both looked at each other, blushed, and rubbed the back of their necks awkwardly.
"Oh. Ohhhhhh. Okay. I understand. My son has a boyfriend." She shouted loudly.
Tom's blush turned from just embarrassed to highly embarrassed.
"No mom! He's just my roommate." Tom shouted.
Most of his family was saying yeah right and giggling.
"I don't like him like I mean I he uh I ahhhh." Tom started to freak out.
Tord said he loved Tom when they were alone and they cuddled. Holy shit I like him. Tom thought.
He blushed slightly.
"Why did you bring him if you don't like him. It seems like you wanted your family to meet your boyfriend." Tom's cousin mocked.
Tom growled.
"Okay settle down. No one needs to get all worked up. Tom was very upset and asked me if I wanted to come with him." Tord said awkwardly.
Everyone was looking at him now. It was awkward. He was used to a large group looking at him. Tord put makeup on his scars and wore a longer sleeved hoodie to hid his arm. But nothing could hide his open eye socket.
"What's with the eye patch thing?" Tom's mom asked.
"I'm going to kick your ass Jehovah." Tord growled.
"Why me." Tom cried.
Tord stepped forward and Tom grabbed his sleeve.
"You fucking touch me and I'll destroy your other arm." Tom growled.
"You touch my other arm I'll-" Tord cut himself off.
"You'll What Tord?" Tom smiled leaning his head on his hand.
He mumbled under his breath and narrowed his eyes at Tom.
"How about some tv." Tom's mom said turning on the news.
"News reports that an unknown group of people just kidnapped the prime minister. The queen has went into hiding and it seems there will be a public display tomorrow. The red leader will be coming tomorrow to execute the prime minister tomorrow.  May the queens army save us." The news lady said.
"Holy shit. Tord what the fuck." Tom said looking over his shoulder.
"Hey Thomas. I had no idea that was happening. I got to make a phone call." Tord said pulling out his phone.
"No."
"What do you mean no?"
"No. You are giving me the phone and I'll call pat." Tom said.
Tord raised an eyebrow, but complied.
Patryck answered the phone expecting to be yelled at.
"Oh hi Patryck. I didn't have your phone number so I just took Tord's phone. Guess what I saw." Tom said in his fake excitement voice.
Patryck gulped.
"I know. Guess who schedules these things." Tom said agitated.
"You do." Pat said quickly.
"What was that. I didn't hear that Patryck!"
Tord said grabbing the phone.
Patryck went white.
Paul took the phone.
"Sorry sir." Paul laughed.
"No. I'm not. Thomas. I need to speak with Paul, Patryck, and you alone." Tord growled.
Unlike a normal person Tord had just a tank top on under his hoodie instead of a normal shirt so he could easily change into his red leader uniform.
"Okay Thomas. Go to the car and get my uniform out of the trunk." Tord said taking off his hoodie.
"Yes sir."
Tom got his uniform on and grabbed Tord's and ran back inside.
"Here." Tom said handing him the trench coat and torn red hoodie.
"Thank you." Tord said kissing Tom's forehead.
Tord headed to the bathroom to get his uniform on and wash the makeup off.
"Tom?" Tom's mom asked.
"Yes mom?" Tom asked putting his hands behind his back and hanging his head.
Before his mom could respond Tord came back out of the bathroom all looking like the insane red leader he was.
"Okay. Now I'm gotta go kick two peoples asses." Tord growled.
"No murdering please." Tom said nicely.
Tord made the face like he was trying not to laugh.
"Please. When have I ever murdered a person." Tord said sarcastically.
"Well you are the red leader for one thing." Tom said.
"Thomas used logic.  It's highly effective." Tord said sinking to the ground.
"You are a goofball."
Tord laughed.
"I'm the worlds goofball."
Tom's family had lots of questions.
"So first.  Tell us how this happened." Tom's mom said.
"Tom owed me a favor." Tord said getting up.
"I do not owe you anything.  I think we're pretty even if you ask me.  Blowing up the house and then blowing you up." Tom shot back.
"Wait.  Did Tom do that?" Tom's cousin asked.
"Yes.  Harpoons are banned anywhere I go.  But I have my suspicions Thomas." Tord laughed lowering himself to Tom's level.
"Harpoons aren't that scary." Tom's mom said moving a paper to show a harpoon symbol.
"Yes they are.  Thomas almost killed me.  Like if I didn't move that thing would have went through my heart.  I guess you can say.  Love hurts." Tord joked.
Tom sighed.
"I fucking hate you." Tom sighed.
"So Tom attacked you with a harpoon and did that."
Tord nodded.
"Okay."
"Aren't you going to ask why? Or what happened?" Tord asked.
"Not everyone needs to know how horribly you fucked up." Tom said smiling.
"Hey. I'm still very successful in my conquest."
"Hey Tord. I hope that robot or army isn't masking anything small." Tom said smirking.
"No! Thomas stop being cute!" Yelled Tord blushing.
There was a silent knock at the door.
Tord knew who it was. Paul and Patryck thought it would be a great idea to get their leader microchipped so they could track his location. It also read his vital signs.
Paul and Patryck stepped in the room and saw lots of people, their leader, and Tom.
"Hey." Paul said.
Patryck hid behind Paul and gulped.
"So. Let's play a game." Tord said walking over to his two favorite soldiers.
"What kind of game sir?" Tom asked walking up next to him.
"I was thinking a little time with the monster. What do you think?" Tord said looking at Tom.
Tom looked at Paul and Patryck. They were both ghost white. They knew what Tom could do loose on a battlefield.
"No no we understand sir. It won't happen again." Paul said smiling.
"No I'm sure he wants to see you. You haven't been properly introduced to him yet." Tord said laughing a little.
Paul gulped.
"Oh shut it. They said they wouldn't do it again and I'm taking their word for it." Tom said putting his arms around Paul and Patryck.
"Thomas I-." Tord started.
"No. You always jump to another conclusion. You need to start doing what I do. Give them one more chance and if they fuck that chance up I'll shoot them out of the sky with a harpoon." Tom said patting Tord on the back.
"Oh don't give me that. You didn't even trust me let alone gave me a chance. I blew up something and then you shot me." Tord explained.
"You blew up our house." Tom corrected.
"That's not so bad." Tom's mom said.
"With me inside!" Tom yelled.
"Hey. You got out of that situation with a cut arm. I got out with a mangled arm and no right eye. Also I was bleeding to death." Tord said.
"But you didn't." Tom said cockily.
Tord brushed it off.

Pt 3 next time I'm sad.