When The Nights Get Long

Lost And Lonely

"Ow," Andrew hissed. Blue quickly retracted their fingers, not realizing they were digging their nails into the chest.

"Sorry."

"Blue, are you okay?"

"No," they admitted. "I'm just overthinking everything. Again."

He kissed the top of their head. "Do you want to talk about it?"

As much as they wanted to talk about it, a part of them was afraid it would ruin the mood. To talk about ex-lovers while naked in bed seemed like a dick move. And they didn't want to make Andrew uncomfortable. But he asked, so that had to mean he was intrigued and wanted to know to some degree.

"Is it work?"

They shook their head. "No."

"School? You're nervous about the new school year, yeah?"

"I mean, yeah-"

"What's worrying you about it?"

"Classes, I guess. I need to get my business degree, but I'm going to be doing music full time as well. And then homework piled on top of that, as well as a bunch of other crap. And now I have you, and what if I don't have enough time for-"

The clamped their mouth shut, prepared for Andrew to pull away. Instead he tightened his hold on them, kissing their temple delicately. "No matter what, we'll always have breakfast," he slurred, falling asleep in the process. The gentle hum and soothing rise and fall of his chest was enough to lull Blue back to sleep with him, a part of their subconscious easing.

Morning brought a whole new sense of trauma. Blue confessed their feelings, had sex, and had a moment in the early hours of the morning. And the fear that they wouldn't be wanted anymore pulsated through them. They didn't know what to do or say, whether they should get up to face the day or sleep until it was tomorrow. But they didn't want to live in their mind and instead face the music for what it was.

They climbed out of their empty bed, snatched their robe off the back of the door, and walked downstairs to find Andrew in the kitchen. "What are you making?"

"Breakfast," he answered.

A massacre. Egg shells everywhere with its yolk seeping through its skin. Batter stained the floors, and the weapons of choice were in a cluster on the counter. Poison was clearly being cooked on the skillet, yet Andrew took a bite as though it was no big deal. "It's ready."

"You're insane," they exhaled in a whisper.

As they approached the table, Andrew quickly rushed over to scooch the chair out for them. They sat down, Andrew scooching them back in, and he ran to the stove to turn off the heat. A plate soon slid in front of them, a fork and knife quickly following. Everything was overcooked or burnt, but it was still edible. And with enough salt, the eggs weren't too bad. 

"I should cook breakfast more often," Andrew stated, proud of the work he did.

"No," they chuckled. "I've got it."

"But I don't want you to stress out." He walked up to them, cupping their cheek with a smile. "After last night's talk, I thought it would be easier for you if I started to cook. You're stressing out over being stressed out. Let me help, okay?"

He cooked breakfast for them to help them destress. It was one of the most thoughtful things anyone had done for them.

"Blue?" He didn't mind the way their arms snaked around his torso, but it did leave him slightly confused.

Pressing their cheek against his abs, they sighed. "I don't want this to end before it begins."

Leaning back against the counter, he hummed as he ran his fingers along their spine. "Is that what was really bothering you last night?"

They nodded.

"I love you, Blue-"

"Don't keep saying that, please," they pleaded, their voice on edge. Staring deep into his eyes, they confessed, "I don't know how I feel about you in that way. I know I like you, I really, really do, but...love? You keep saying that, and I feel guilty for not know how to say it back. I don't know if I'm going to love you or if I will continue to after I confess. I need for you to be slow and patient with me while we figure things out, mainly me since you seem to have it all under control."

"Yeah, right," he scoffed. "I don't know what I'm doing either. I know I love you, but I'm just as confused as you are. I dove in head first into this- And I'm not saying that I regret any of it, but I want to take our time as well."

"Really?" they exhaled. "That'd be great. And we cannot tell Luke. I don't need him to get on our case while we figure everything out."

"Agreed...but if we do decide to make this official, we tell him, alright?"

"No, of course."

"And we don't have to be partners right now, but we should remain exclusive. I'm not wanting to be in any sort of open relationship sort of thing."

"Obviously," they assured.

Stepping back, they held out their hand to shake. Andrew rolled his eyes and pulled them back into his arms, kissing their lips softly.

The front door burst open, Marcy standing front and center. "Andrew! Today is going to be a productive day. I can feel it. Oh, hi, Blue," she beamed.

Leaning in to their ear, Andrew whispered, "By the way, Marcy is the one who suggests everything for Andy and Luke or Blu to do."

Pulling away with a smirk, Blue was left flabbergasted as he walked up to greet his editor in nothing but his boxer briefs. Before they made their way upstairs, Blue smirked themself and moaned, "Andy," seductively. Marcy was left laughing as Andrew scurried into his bedroom, Blue snickering as they entered their own.

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