fierce ↠ sweet pea [1] [✔]

|| FORTY-THREE ||

As the bike's engine roared through the tree-decorated road back to the Northside, Sweet Pea felt his girlfriend's nails digging hard into his torso as she held onto him. He slowed down after then feeling her grip strengthen, pulling over onto the gravelly roadside where he was then made able to hear her crying.

He leapt off the bike as soon as he secured it into the gravel, tearing off his helmet before reaching for Lauryn's. He knelt in front of her when she wouldn't look at him, hoping to steady her uncontrolled breathing.

"Hey, look at me," he said, barely able to hear himself. He clasped her hands. "Hey."

Unable to settle her heaving chest, she looked at him, tears spilling out of her eyes before she could even blink. She tried her hardest to form a sentence, but no audible words came out. A million thoughts a second bombarded her mind, causing her to spiral into a void.

"Lauryn, breathe," he told her, unsure of how else to calm her down. He'd never seen her so helpless, and he kept his eyes on her with concern. He wasn't sure if she could even comprehend what he was saying in that moment, and it frightened him. "Angel Face, can you hear me?"

She swallowed hard, managing to settle herself slightly yet feeling pressure build up in her chest. "So-so that's it?"

He frowned, massaging her hands with his thumbs. "What?"

"I'm such a disappointment that she felt the need to go back to the Farm," she sobbed. "If I wasn't--"

"Don't you dare try and blame this on the fact that you're having a baby," he cut her off sternly, shaking his head. She almost thought he was genuinely upset with her. "A real mother wouldn't turn their back on their kid like that, not for anything."

"Why did she go back?"

He let out a sigh. "I don't know, hell, I really don't. I don't know why she'd choose that weird place over a daughter like you, but that's balls in her court. You did the right thing in cutting her off. A lot of people wouldn't have had the guts."

Lauryn had listened to what he said, but she couldn't process it, neither find a relevant response. She remained in the circle of alarm she'd found herself drowning in, squeezing his hands as the emotional anguish squeezed at her chest. "Why did I tell myself she just had other things to do? Everyone was right, and I damn well ignored them. What the hell did I expect?"

"Stop," Sweet Pea told her, sitting himself next to her on the bike with his arm drawing her to his side tightly. "Don't blame yourself, blame her. You gave her a chance and she blew it."

"What do I do now?"

Sweet Pea scoffed lightly. "Keep goin'. You didn't need her in the first place. You turned out good all on your own, you and Fangs, and now you got me. This doesn't need to affect you like this."

"I feel like I've let her down."

"Sorry, what?" he pulled away, looking at her to question whether she was serious or not. He shook his head, clasping her cheeks roughly. "She let you down first. Nothin' you do could ever top the fact that she abandoned you for a life on the Northside. You don't need her."

Lauryn sniffled, wiping her eyes. "You really don't think that I--"

"Shut up," he cut her off, handing her helmet back as he restarted the engine. "I'm not letting you blame yourself. We're goin' home and you're gettin' some sleep even if it kills me. This can't go on, especially not because of her. "

Lauryn's eyes widened, and she put her helmet back on after wiping her tears a final time. She held onto him once again, replaying his words in her head the whole journey home. He was harsh, but she had to admit to herself that it was only what she needed to hear.