Shattered

Chapter 28; Shattered

Miley’s p.o.v

I walked to my car, placing one foot in front of another. Nothing remained of me, no courage, there wasn’t even any dignity left. I was shaking, mostly from pain and fear.

I got into the car and speed away. I drove as fast as I could before I had to pull over. The tears that fell from my eyes clouded my vision. The look on his face…he was more than angry. Seeing him like that scared me. I never thought he would hurt me, but seeing him like that, feared me. I knew he wouldn’t want to talk to me, I just hoped that he would at least hear me out.

I know what I did was wrong, but he has done things to me that were just as bad. He accused me of working with someone else behind his back. He then faked his death, and came back pretending to be someone else. I forgave him, and I moved past it. I know that he has trust issues, but I do too. I moved past his mistakes and I took him back.

I shouldn’t have left like I did. I felt the distant start to grow between us because of the drama that was going on. I wanted everything to just go away so that we could be together. But, let’s face it, we will never be able to be together.

I had so many regrets, and so many questions.  I was broken beyond repair. All the mistakes I have made finally caught up to me. The feelings, the pain…it was all too much. My heart was no more, I needed the pain to go away and the only way that would happen is if I were dead. After all, that’s what he wants. We were never going to be together again, we were Shattered.

Jason’s p.o.v

There I stood, in the same spot that I was in when she walked out of the house, or rather, out of my life. I couldn’t move. My mind was on overdrive. I hated this, and I hated myself for what had just took place. I was mad and I still believe I have every right to be, but I also know that I shouldn’t have said what I did. I knew there was no way that I could talk to her again….maybe the space would be good for us.

With everything that remained of me made myself walk up the stairs and into my bed room. I laid down on the bed and let my thoughts grow wild.

Was this what I wanted for myself? Did I really want to be alone? I had this big house all to myself and I wasn’t sure how to react to that. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t even content with my life. I knew that I couldn’t go back to what I was doing before. I needed to do something with my life and I didn’t know what that should be.

Miley was gone. I had pushed her away, and I knew she wouldn’t be coming back. A part of me was happy, and the other part of me wasn’t.

After an hour of battling with the thoughts in my head, and the fact that I wasn’t going to fall asleep any time soon didn’t help. I go up and walked downstairs, and into the basement. I put on my boxing gloves and started beating up the old punching bag that hung in the middle of the room.

*

“Jason,” He said distracting me from my work.

“What?” I spat. The anger raising within me.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked walking closer to me.

I sat at the work table in the middle of the room. I had products to make, and a schedule to keep up with. I was growing angry at him trying to interrupt me from my precise work.

“We talked about this!” I screamed looking over at him. He stood tall at the entrance of the room I was working in.

“I know, but after you do this, there is no coming back. Things will never be the same.” He pressed walking closer to the work table.

“I am done arguing about this. I made this decision a long time ago. I am perfectly happy with my choice.” I said banging my fist against the table.

My eyes never straying away from his lean figure. He wasn’t afraid, I didn’t scare him. If anyone should be scared, it should be me. But, I wasn’t. I stopped caring, I stopped feeling, and I stopped being afraid.

“I am not trying to argue. I just know that if I would have had the chance to go back and change it…I would. Now, I have to lay in the bed I made.” He cleared his throat. “My demons are stronger than they were when I was your age. I think you are forgetting the sacrifice you are making.”

“I have already lost everything I have. I have nothing left.” I said standing to my feet.

“I know.” He sighed. “That doesn’t mean that you won’t regret this.” He said walking towards where I was standing.

“You lost a great deal because of them. I understand why you want to do this. I also know that one day you will have too many demons to comprehend. You may feel numb to everything right now, but that will pass. You will eventually hate yourself and the life you created.” He said crossing his arms.

“I will cross that bridge when the time comes.” I spoke sharply.

“Now, if you will excuse me, I have work to do.” I spoke harshly before walking back to my work table.

Ethan was a wise man, he was right about everything. I regret so many things now. I can’t change anything. I thought that was rock bottom, I was wrong. If I could go back, I would. I was naive, and stupid. Now I am even more broken than I was before.

I was broken beyond compare. Unfixable. I was Shattered.

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