The Sparks Within

Fire And Ice

"Love is the enchanted dawn of every heart"

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Tanimu:

It is nightfall, and the wind is blowing softly. A peaceful night it is. My body is home, peacefully laying in bed, but my mind, heart, soul and thoughts are elsewhere. I got tired of fighting the urge to go out and see my zulai, I quickly grabbed a shirt and headed out.

Few minutes later, I was at her house with her brother talking about soccer and our upcoming game. I suddenly looked up and there she was. My zulai, standing right in front of me like an angel. When our eyes met, She quickly looked away and walked out of the house without saying a word to me.

I followed her out, and I saw her standing under a mango tree like she was waiting for me. I guess she knew I would join her shortly.

We silently sat on a log of wood under the tree. It was just us, the sweet sound of calm air and the violent silence of our thoughts. We gazed at the black sky covered with billions of stars, the night was magical.

We talked nonstop as we enjoyed the peaceful night breeze. She told me what happened between her and Aunt Rakiya the other day, and how angry she was when she left. She was so furious that she promised never to return. She also told me how she ended things with her supposed fiancé "Jamilu".

She poured her heart out and I did the same. Along the line, things got a little spicy and before you know it, zulai was on her feet and was moving recklessly closer and closer to me.

She is so close to me, maybe too close because I could hear the sound of her beating heart. I just stood there motionless feeling numb, her proximity suffocated me and I was enjoying it a little too much.

She is calm, but her gaze is intense I couldn't even feel my bones. Her eyes moved down my lips and I could feel her breathing on my neck. It froze my body like winter storm. I stood still, not moving a single muscle.

I was enjoying the moment when I suddenly remembered the promise I made to Raliyat. I promised to marry her, but here I am with zulai. I started sweating profusely and quickly moved backwards.

"Zulai, I need to tell you something. I will be getting married soon, to the girl I was promised to a year ago" I blurted out.

Her expression changed immediately and she lost her balance. I tried to catch her, but she quickly yanked my hands off her. She regained balance and she quickly sat on the log of wood beside her.

She took it the wrong way, because there is this black hole of rage in her eyes that pierced me. I tried to explain myself a little bit more clearer, but she wouldn't listen.

"How could you do this to me? If you knew you are promised to another, why did you come into my life?" She asked.

"Zulai, it all happened too quickly. It's not my fault. Besides, you've done the same to me twice". I replied

We both lost it, we said terrible things to each other in the midst of anger. Zulai was as cold as an ice block attacking me with sharp edged ice crystals that pierced deep into my skin and left me with wounds that would never heal. and I was like a wild fire, burning everything around us and within us, including our emotions

"You're a terrible person" she whispered bitterly.

I would never forget those words. A short simple sentence it is, but it carries the weight of a mountain

Don't you ever talk to me again. I hate you. You're a wicked monster, you deserve to burn in hell" She added.

She made me feel like a bad person, the worst person in the entire planet, a decaying piece of meat, a wicked evil creature sent from hell to destroy lives, a worthless piece of shit

She was at the verge of shedding tears when she suddenly fell silent and shook it off. She put on a bitch ass face, she smiled and walked past me like nothing has happened. She walked away without even looking back.

I was speechless, it was as though she has never seen me before. Maybe this was not the reaction I was anticipating, maybe I wanted her to cry, scream, curse and hurt. But she didn't and I was hurt.

I couldn't recognize her anymore, it was as if she was switched with another person. At that moment, I could swear she has never felt anything for me, that it is all a big fat lie.

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Zulai

I was having a lazy boring day and was morosely contemplating taking a walk to jummais house when I suddenly heard his voice, I quickly grabbed the nearest veil and rushed outside.

Behold my beloved. He quickly looked up as soon as I arrived and our eyes met. He sensed my presence, I guess our hearts are slowly colliding. Tanimu is an angel, my angel, What more could a girl ever wish for?

I quickly walked past them, telling my brother who was with him that I am going to collect something from jummai and I'd be back in no time.

I pursed my lips annoyed, waiting alone under the big mango tree. The cool night winter breeze brushed past me, biting my skin angrily. I tightened my rumpled, undersized veil around my body, shivering slightly. I closed my eyes, breathing in the fresh night air.

My heart skipped a beat and I froze when I saw tanimu coming my way, I have missed him a lot.

We sat on a log of wood and He poured his heart out. His heart is like a window, open to the world. He is a free spirited soul, maybe too free.

I was amazed by the purity of his heart, his beautiful smile, his kind & caring nature. He's undeniably cute and kind not to mention athletic and bright

There was an innate rhythm beating in my heart and my stomach already twirled. It is a wonderful night and we are having a wonderful time.

I didn't know when I got on my feet and moved closer and closer to him. It felt like my body needed something from him, a hug maybe. He was only a few inches away from me with his warm breathing caressing my neck. He made my legs wobble and I  had Goosebumps. Stars exploded in the sky like fireworks.

He suddenly backed away. "I need to tell you something" he said.

I instantly got worried because there was hurt and guilt in his voice. I kept my distance as I listened attentively to what he was about to say.

"I'm getting married soon, to the girl I have been promised to a year ago" he said

I froze, my legs became weak and my insides started melting.

We're like a ticking bomb, he read the war on my face, he read all the resentment I felt for him at that moment. I hated him with all my heart, I am broken. I could hear the sound of my heart as it shattered and sank into the pit of my stomach. I let my guard down and now I have been cheated and betrayed

I wanted to shout, scream and hit him, but I managed to control myself. I held my head up high and decided not to let myself feel the pain. I said a few hurtful words before walking away.

That night, I promised myself that I would marry the next man that comes for me, be it crippled or blind, deaf or dumb, a killer or a sociopath, a mafia, a cultist or a ritualist, I do not care. One thing I have learned over the years is that, you don't always get what you want. Finding true Love is the least of my worries right now, I'm done trying.

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