The Sparks Within

Lost Love

"When we are in love, we seem to ourselves quite different from what we were before"

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Zulai

I woke up to the sound of the rain hitting the roof top, I peacefully lay in bed enjoying the sound of the rain with a heavy mind and aching soul.

Tanimu tiptoed into my heart and danced in it without me even knowing it, And now he is part of my bloodstream. He is a retro song, a cubist painting, a field of sun Flowers and a roaring waterfall. I adore each shade of his personality, each flaw and each scar on his soul

There is a hole for tanimu in my empty soul, a hole for all the friends that I have lost and a hole for all the pieces of me that got lost along the way.

Yesterday, He said the most scariest words on the planet to me. I was happy to hear those words. It could have been different coming from someone else, but from him, I loved it, I loved every bit of it that I almost said it back.

For one insane second, I thought I could be his. I thought we could be happy together and have a happily ever after. A chill silence suddenly enveloped us as we got lost in each others eyes. Our hearts understand each other even in silence.

Then I realize what I was doing, he is not mine to take, I am not ready to break his heart. So I did the stupidest thing a human could do to another human being after confessing his love for you. I said I hated him, Hate is a very strong word. Because of that, I have lost him forever. What was I thinking?

I couldn't hate Tanimu. I couldn't, no matter how much I have tried. I said I hated him because admitting that I loved him is much more painful, because I know that he could never be mine.

I have been crying myself to bed for the past few days. No matter how hard I try, I couldn't let go of the thoughts of him. I regret what I had done, I regret every bit of it. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would have responded differently.

Hours later, I got ready and went out of my room, I went straight to the sitting room where I met Aunt Rakiya and the rest of the family. I quietly sat at a corner and listened to their conversations.

It's been days now, but Aunt Rakiya is still angry at my brother for painting her as the monster she truly is. She had been trying to make a big deal out of it, but he didn't let her terrorize him so that she could make herself the victim.

This time she didn't win, it was like trying to start a fire in the rain. She finally let it go, but she didn't let go of the idea of getting me married to Jamilu. Jamilu is here at our house for a couple of days now.

Lunch was ready, The maid brought it to the sitting room where she served everyone except me, I told her I was full. The food was looking delicious and it smelt so good.

It's my favorite, rice and beans, but I was on a hunger strike. I haven't eaten anything solid since the day before yesterday because they were planning to get me married to The man that I hate. I know I cannot win, but I had to try.

"You either call off the wedding or get him married to my lifeless body", I threatened my family. But sadly, no one was taking me seriously.

I watched them eat and my brother kept making silly comments about how delicious the food tastes. My mouth was watery as I stared intently at the food with hungry eyes. I know they could hear the sound of my saliva each time I swallowed it. I couldn't take it anymore, so I rushed outside.

As soon as I opened the gate, I caught a glimpse of Larai, I haven't seen her in a very long time. She's got this sadness in her eyes that seemed to define her. She made it look like the world was made of paper and people of glass.

Larai and I used to be inseparable, we were very good friends. But unfortunately, Ashiru came along, and he ruined everything

Ashiru was larai's boyfriend, they were so in love with each other. She talks about him day and night. I haven't met him then, but I knew everything about him.

After courting him for a while, Larai took him home and her family welcomed him with open arms. Few months later, their wedding date was set.

We started making preparations for the wedding, I was so happy for her because she was about to get married to the man of her dreams. As the wedding approached, the preparations got a little more harder.

One evening, about a week to the wedding, Larai decided to introduce me to her fiancé. It's tradition, the bride is not allowed to see the groom once the wedding starts, not until she is being taken to his house. That's when he would be able to see his beloved wife.

She decided to introduce us Incase there is the need to contact him if we needed something during the wedding, it would be much more easier if I handled it. She doesn't have to be the one running up and down.

She was so anxious, she thought we would get along so well. She set up a meeting and he came over. They waited for me at the door for some minutes.

As I stepped outside, I looked at her fiancé and our eyes met. He gave me One single glance, and I had the key to his heart and soul. I swept him off his feet and took away his breath, literally.

"If we had met earlier, I wouldn't have wasted my time on this ugly cow" Ashiru said, pointing at Larai his fiancé. We both couldn't believe the words that came out of his stupid mouth.

"That was cold, unnecessary, rude and straight out ruthless" I said. The ungrateful bastard just shrugged his shoulders, he didn't seem to care at all. He was busy shamelessly taking a tour of my body.

Larai Was devastated, I felt it instantly. I quickly fled without warning, leaving them there to sort out their differences.

Few days later, Ashiru called off the wedding after so many insults. He spread so many lies, and rumors about her in order to justify the reason why he left her. He wanted to be the good guy, and he wanted his story to be believable.

He started showing up at our house every blessed day and he followed me every where I went even if I ignored him. He wanted to marry me

I made it clear to the good for nothing that nothing is ever going to exist between me and him. After countless of fruitless efforts, he finally gave up. I was free, but it was too late. Larai wanted nothing to do with me, and that's how our friendship went down the drain.

She blamed me for the calamity that had befallen her, all of it. She sees me as the evil witch that snatched her husband away from her, as the symbol of her misfortune, her doom and her downfall. To her, I was the girl that ruined her life.

Larai is still healing, though no one gave her credit for it. She needed time, she needed space and of course some love and support. She didn't get any of that. I felt sorry for her.

She looked at me with Disgust, hatred repulsion and contempt. I looked back at her Ready for the poison she was about to spill on me.

She looked at me irritated As if I was the poison in her bloodstream that she desperately needed to get rid of.

My mind was like a carousel, All I could do was listen to the waterfall of emotions pouring out of her. She insulted me and my entire lineage. At first I was unable to recognize my friend in this outburst of violence.

I wanted to talk back, but I didn't have the energy to respond. Maybe it's because I couldn't find the right words or maybe it's because Deep down, I blamed myself for her suffering and I think I deserve all the hate she felt for me.

I quickly went back inside the house without saying a word to Larai. I walked into the sitting room where I left my brother and the rest. A rush of nausea swept over me, I felt sick. The room was spinning round and round or perhaps I was.

My hands were sweating and I felt so dizzy. The crowd of people before me began to blur until all I could see was a sea of distorted shapes, their loud voices melted into a violent silence. I didn't know what happened next.