Shattered-(A Loki Fanfic and sequel to Broken)

Chapter Thirty-Three

I woke up with Loki's chest still rising and falling beneath my head. I sat up slowly, trying not to wake him. I hadn't realized I was crying until I felt the water on my face. I looked over at the mirror and saw myself. My eyes were all red and puffy.

I had pushed down those memories for so long, so why did they come back now? I still hated myself for not being able to save him.

How could Loki trust me to be a mother if I couldn't even save Toby?

"Darling, what's wrong?" Loki asked, still sounding tired. He sat up and saw that I was covered in tears. "Come here." He pulled me in close and held me to his chest. I listened to his heart beat. It was one of the most soothing sounds in the world to me. I just liked to know that he was really here, really holding me.

"I... I had a horrible dream. A memory, really," I told him.

"What was it?" The way he asked told me he wanted to help. "Perhaps talking about it will make you feel better."

"I... It was the day you... the day you attacked New York." I felt his body tighten around me.

"Oh." I remembered seeing him there as I begged him for help. I remembered his face haunting my dreams for months to come. His blue eyes were constantly watching me. "I... I'm truly sorry, my love. I wish I had never done that."

"I... I know it wasn't your fault. But... I saw... I saw..."

"You don't have to say it, darling. It's alright."

"But I want you to know. I want to tell you. I just can't find the words to describe it."

"I could always view the dream through your mind." I shifted and looked up at him.

"Really? Is it your magic stuff?" He nodded.

"I won't do it unless you're alright with it, though. What's in your mind is your personal space. I'd rather not invade it if I'm not welcome."

"Go ahead."

"Alright. Close your eyes. Hold still." I did as he said. I felt his cool hand touch both sides of my head. I felt him connection with me. I felt him diving into my mind. I knew he found the dream in my head. I could feel him watching it. Flashes of it appeared to me. I tried not to move, but I desperately wanted to run away.

He pulled his hands away. When I opened my eyes, he seemed frozen in shock. "Loki?"

"I... I'm terribly sorry." I reached for his hand, but he pulled it away.

"What are you—"

"I didn't save you. I just... I left you there to die." Tears formed in his eyes. "You could have died. And it would have been my fault."

"Loki, no. It's not your fault."

"What would I have done if you had died? I would never have truly met you. I wouldn't have even remembered you. I almost lost you because of my own foolishness, and I would have never even known."

"Loki, stop it. I'm here now. That's what matters."

"But you might not have been. I just... left you there."

"Loki, I saw you fighting him though. You tried to push him out."

"Yet, I still failed. I didn't save you." He seemed truly heartbroken about what he had done. I didn't blame him, though. I just needed him to understand that it wasn't his fault.

"Loki, you didn't fail. You've saved me more than enough times. Besides, I don't hate you. That was just a memory. It doesn't change how I think of you now. I still love you." He looked up at me.