Josephine,
I survived dinner. Just barely, though. Everything was incredibly awkward with my father and Susan. So many long pauses and deep silences; I thought I might lose my mind more than once.
Tony hates peas. I didn't know that, but when I found out, I felt like I was more related to the twins than I had first thought I was. I hate peas and I fought with my mom every time she tried to get me to eat them.
It's a small detail, not really something that is big enough to mention, I guess, but we both hate peas. I keep thinking about that, and it only strengthens the connection I'm building with them.
It was difficult to talk to my dad. I know nothing about him except what he was when I knew him, and I feel like that's all he'll ever be to me. He doesn't know me, and every attempt he made at asking me questions felt like an attack.
How am I supposed to deal with that? He seems more human with his new family, but I know that abusers paint a pretty picture on everyone's faces to keep up appearances.
It makes me sick to my stomach to think about the possibility that he could be hitting them. And I want to believe he hasn't changed, because that would mean that Mom wasn't enough for him to change. That I wasn't enough.
But somehow, I think I know that he isn't hurting them. Not like he hurt me.
I'm glad that you and Leah are making progress. Does that mean you've had your big breakthrough? ;)
Therapy until graduation is a good plan, but make sure you're ready to move on before you just stop your sessions. I don't want you to cut everything short for me; I'll wait for you, always, and I want you to be as whole as you can be so that you can be happy.
I'll definitely take you duck-feeding sometime. Central Park is a good place for it; there are small ponds or streams that always have ducks around, or, we could go to the Museum of Natural History and just sit and feed pigeons.
Honestly, not a super fan of those birds, but I've seen Home Alone 2; if you'd want to, I'd take you to feed them.
My lovely Jo, as the days pass by, I can't help but think of how much closer I am to having you with me all the time.
I woke up this morning and immediately wished you were in my arms. I mean, I do that every day, but today I felt the feeling that much stronger.
I hope your studies are going well; NYU is going to accept you in a heartbeat.
All my love,
Teddy
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Dear Darling
العاطفيةJosephine wrote a letter. She wasn't planning to get a response, she addressed it with a random address and sent it through the mail. She didn't think that it would go to someone's home. She didn't think anyone would read it. And she certainly didn'...
