Dear Darling

10

Theresa

9 AM

"How could you say that to her? What the hell is wrong with you David?"

My husband stood tall, but I could see his spirit breaking underneath his physique.

"I don't know," He was sobbing now, his head in his hands. "I don't know."

"You have no right to speak to her that way! You know just as much as I do that it was an accident. It was dark, and raining and that truck came out of no where! Jo had nothing to do with causing April's death."

My voice was becoming thick with tears as I turned away from him.

"Are you going to go after her?" He asked me.

"Not now, she probably just went to Megan's. She needs her space now, I'm sure she'll be back later,"

Josephine was just as hot headed as her father, they were both stubborn and set in their ways, when they needed space, you were best to give it to them or you just ended up pushing them away.

David continued crying, he had sat back down in his chair now, and was muttering to himself.

"David." I said.

He didn't look at me for a moment. When his eyes trailed up to my face, I could see the heartbroken man before me without anything blocking the image. We were all still mourning, I missed my baby girl every day, but David had chosen to internalize his grief. We didn't talk about her, but I felt like we should try. The nights were the hardest, and I admit, I did take to alcohol too easily, but it was the only way that I could sleep.

"I don't know who I am right now," He said. "I don't want to blame her, she's my daughter, I know it isn't actually her fault...but it's there anyway."

I put my arm around him and pulled his head toward me in a hug; his head resting on my torso while I stood beside him. He held onto me like he needed an anchor in a storm, which was true, in a way.

He continued to cry, muttering how sorry he was and that he didn't mean it. I shushed him gently, holding my husband together because I couldn't let myself fall apart with him.

~

Noon

I was getting worried. Jo still wasn't home, and I had called Megan's mom twice to find out if Jo had gone there. There weren't many places she would go, she spent her life either at school, Megan's house, or the library working on pieces for her school newspaper. Maybe she would go to the park, that's where we used to take April on Saturdays when none of us had school or work or pressing obligations.

I looked at the clock again, the second hand ticking away as though my step daughter wasn't missing.

I had called David in sick for work because he was too emotionally tired after the argument at breakfast. He was sleeping in our bedroom, and I was distraught with anxiety about Jo.

"Screw it," I said to myself, deciding to go out and look for Jo.

I pulled on my coat and shoes, grabbing my keys and purse. I wrote a quick note for David, telling him I'd be out for about an hour or two, and then went outside. I got in the car and turned the key in the ignition, pulling out of the drive way and began looking for Jo.

~

2 PM

I couldn't find her. I had gone to all her common hangouts, I checked the park, I couldn't think of anywhere else she would be. I was driving around town now, pulling over every so often to ask people if they'd seen Jo.