Helping you - BTS Jungkook x Reader

Chapter 1 - Life.

This book gets A LOT better! I just didn't think to write in paragraphs or describe anything since this was the first chapter. Please keep reading even if u dont like this chapter because the book doesn't stay this shit for long! 😊

Hello my name is Y/N. I hate myself and my life. I self-harm, don't sleep, starve myself, I am an Alcoholic, I could go on and on. I have lots of mental health illnesses... And oh ye did I mention I deal with extreme anxiety so I don't talk to anyone.

I wake up and look at my clock, 6:30 am ^_^. Time to get up. I just sit there for a while and just think to myself 'how long can I keep doing this? How long can I keep living a life I don't want to live?'.

I begrudgingly get up and start to get ready. Idc what I look like anymore so I just put on some leggings and a baggy Jumper, with no makeup and my hair just down.

I quickly check myself in the mirror - I feel like gagging but all well. I go downstairs once I am ready and head off to the bus stop. (I get the school bus to school).

As soon as I get there I feel dread rush over my body I want to stop walking but I can't my brain has frozen. I see the bus coming and I make it just in time - again..

*On the bus*
Suddenly I feel something hit the back of my head. I immediately know who threw it. Jimin, Park Jimin. My Bully, well his whole gang bullies me but he is the leader. Luckily today he just threw a pencil before they have thrown really heavy things ~ once they threw a stapler at my head and I got a concussion, not that any of them cared. I just ignore them because what can I do?

Finally we arrive at school and I rush to get off the bus - I'm not usually the type to rush but I always hurry off the bus because otherwise Jimin and his gang wait for me and beat me up when I get off. Thankfully our bus was a bit late today so as soon as I got off the bus the bell went, meaning I had to go to class. I don't like class but I don't like Lunch or Break anymore. I just sit alone at lunch and break or get bullied.

Class was boring as normal, I was trying to keep my eyes open as normal and no one was listening to the teacher, as normal. Miss knows I don't like to talk so she tends to keep me out of class discussions.
Eventually class finishes and I start heading to my next class, English.

I sit alone in English so It's one of my best classes because not only do I not have to talk to anyone but I don't have to be near anyone either! (Antisocial much).

As Sir is about to start a new boy comes in, I don't pay any attention until I hear all the girls fangirling. UGHH! I look up and to my surprise he is actually very good looking, not that it makes any difference, it will happen how it always happens. Best case scenario - he ignores me and we never speak or look at each other and he never even knows my name, worst case scenario - he joins Jimin's gang and starts to bully me as well as them. And by looking at him I can already tell Jimin will want to get him on his team.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the teacher, who also knows I don't like to socialise, saying "OK hello Jeon Jungkook. You can take a seat next to Y/N."

Oh so that's his name, Jeon Jungkook. Wait... What?!?! Did he just say he can sit next to me? I look up to see Jungkook walking my way, I immediately look down and play with my ring - it's what I do when I get nervous.

He sits next to me "Hi my name's Jungkook, it's nice to meet you."
Wow, he's surprisingly nice. I just nod my head slightly as I start to find it hard to breathe. Oh no I think I am going to have a panic attack ~ I don't cope well in these situations.

Luckily it wasn't too huge of one so I was able to control it and not show it too much - I think.
The rest of the lesson just goes as normal except for the fact that I can't stop noticing that the new kid Jungkook is next to me.

It scares me because he doesn't know that I don't talk yet where as everyone else does. The bell goes and even though I would normally hang around until everyone has gone I rush out because I wanted to avoid Jungkook. Bad idea.

I become surrounded by people and I start to breathe heavier and I start to feel dizzy and this time I can't control it, I also just ran so I think it's a mixture of a panic attack and of how weak I am from barely eating. The last thing I feel is tears rolling down my face and my legs collapsing under me before blackness consumes my vision...

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Hello everyone, I understand this book is probably really bad I understand if you don't want to read it. This is my first book so please try to understand If I make any mistakes and help me out if you can.

This book is very personal to me as all of the things she does and suffers with I suffer with and a few other things as well. But I don't want to go into detail about that atm.
I am very busy so I don't know how often I will be posting but I will do it as often as I can.

Thank you for your understanding!