Glee-done (Discontinued)

Season 2, Episode 16 - Sexy (Redone)

Cut to the Hallway where Santana is walking up to Brittany. "Hey, Britt-Britt. So, listen. How about you and I pop in some Sweet Valley High this evening, get our cuddle on?" Santana smirked as Brittany frowned. "Look, I'd really like to get my sweet lady kisses on, but I haven't been feeling very sexy lately," Brittany then whispered "I think I have a bun in the oven. Please don't tell anyone, okay? Especially Artie." Brittany then shut her locker and walked away. "Yeah, sure. Your secret's safe with..." Santana said as she turned the opposite direction and saw Tina then she blurted it out. "Oh my God, Brittany's pregnant," Santana said. "Oh my God, Brittany's pregnant!" Tina said to a passing Puck. "It was only a matter of time," Puck shrugged. "For what?" Lauren asked. "Brittany to get pregnant," Puck said as Lauren then saw Artie. "Congratulations!" Lauren smirked. "For what?" Artie asked confused. "Oh, you didn't hear? Your girlfriend's preggo! You're gonna be a baby daddy!" Lauren said as Artie's eyes grew wide. Brittany couldn't be pregnant, could she?

Cut to the choir room where Mr. Schue is entering jazzed about Regionals. "All right, folks. Regionals is in a week. It's time to get deep into our setlist," Mr. Schue grinned before noticing Artie's blank expression "Artie, you okay?" "My life is over. How am I supposed to support a baby?" Artie frowned as he turned to Brittany "How could you not tell me about this?" "Wait. Brittany, are you pregnant?" Mr. Schue asked. "Definitely," Brittany sighed "I'm so sorry, Artie. I didn't want to upset you. I thought I could surprise you when I dropped him off. Pretty sure it's a boy." "Um, babies don't get dropped off," Puck said making a face. "Wait, Brittany, have you been to a doctor yet? That's the only way to be sure," Mr. Schue asked. "I don't need to go to a doctor. I just need to look outside my window," Brittany shrugged as the New Directions looked shocked "Three days ago, a stork built its nest on top of my garage. I'm not stupid, it's obviously getting ready to bring me my baby. I know where babies come from."

"Brittany, remember when I was pregnant last year," Quinn said gently to Brittany. "Uh huh! You never let me come over and see your stork," Brittany frowned. "That's because the stork doesn't drop off the baby," Quinn said. "It doesn't?" Brittany said shocked. "No," Quinn said shaking her head. "Don't you remember me giving birth after Regionals?" She asked Brittany. "Oh yeah....I thought the stork was going to meet you at the hospital," Brittany grinned as everyone cringed including Mr. Schue.

Cut to the teacher's lounge where Mr. Schue is talking to Holly. "And that's when I realized you were right," Mr. Schue sighed as Holly nodded. "You see, we have really got to educate these kids," Holly said. "How are we going to do that without being too graphic?" Mr. Schue asked. "I want to educate them, not titillate them." "Didn't you ever read Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook? It's all about taking vegetables and hiding it in food so that you can trick kids into eating what's good for them," Holly said as Mr. Schue looked confused. "I'm not following," Mr. Schue said. "All I'm saying is, all we have to do is find a way to sneak in the sex education lesson in a less provocative way," Holly said as Mr. Schue thought about it. "How would we go about that?" Mr. Schue asked. "Okay, here's what I think you should do. Let me come into glee club this week and show you what I mean. The kids will think that they're getting ready for Regionals, but really I'll slip in a little lesson about how to avoid STDs," Holly said as Mr. Schue nodded, she had a good point. "And, speaking of STDs, how is your dating life?" Holly asked as Mr. Schue chuckled. "I've been pretty much single this entire time," Mr. Schue shrugged. "Hm. That's a waste of some fine man butt," Holly shrugged as she sipped on her drink as Mr. Schue shook his head. He knew Holly was right about a lot of things and that he had to find a way to teach the Glee Club about sex education.

Cut to the choir room where Mr. Schue is writing 'Sexy' on the board. "Sexy," Mr. Schue said. "I really hope that's not one of the requirements for Regionals, because with Berry in those tights, we don't stand a chance," Santana smirked as Rachel shot her a look. "No, this isn't about Regionals. I'm less worried about that right now and more worried about the fact that it's become clear to me that some of you have been lacking when it comes to understanding the...the, uh...the intricacies of adult relationships," Mr. Schue said awkwardly as some of the Glee kids laughed. "Is this about what Brittany said in rehearsal yesterday?" Finn asked confused. "Yes...and no..." Mr. Schue said biting his lip. "Is this the appropriate forum for that?" Rachel asked. "Look, whenever we had, uh, issues in the past that are on our minds or giving us problems, it's always helped us to sing about it. So, this week I have invited a special guest: Ms. Holliday!" Mr. Schue said as the Glee kids cheered, happy to have Miss Holiday back. "Hola, clase," Holly grinned. "Oh no, it's the salad lady," Brittany frowned.