Waiting For Superman

Thirteen

He was silent in his reply.

“This isn’t it, you haven’t broken my heart” I promised.

I opened the door and looked over the corner of my shoulder with my back to him.

“If I could go back to when you said you wanted to settle down with me and that you liked me, I would have said the same to you that very night. I’m sorry that I didn’t though”

I held onto my chest as I lifted my legs out of the car and onto the floor.

As I shut the door I watched him remove the tears from his cheeks with his fists.

 He watched me as I shut the door softly, like I normally would and just watched everything walk away.

 “Forever”

Through the conversation that Dylan and I had, I knew what this meant. I knew that I was going to accept the opportunity to go abroad for the summer and that maybe when I came back we could be friends again.

I watched him as he drove away from my house. I didn’t only watch someone who broke my heart drive away from my house, but I watched someone who gave me so much to remember in a matter of a few months drive away from my house.

My front door opened and I turned around as Ashley stood there looking at me.

“Neave?” her saying my name was more of her asking how things were.

My eyes were blood shot from the amount of tears that wanted to fall but I didn’t allow, my whole body just seemed to lose posture as if I didn’t care anymore, my hands were shaking and I just looked incredibly ill.

I didn’t reply to her, I just stood there.

“Oh Neavie” she choked; she seemed just as hurt as me.

She took the few steps between us towards me and just hugged me.

I lifted both of my arms up and tightly held onto her, lifting my head from above her shoulder just below so I could cry.

“Not here babe, don’t cry here” she whispered in my ear.

She reached with one hand closing the door behind her and walking me down the street with one arm around me.

We had been walking for over two hours in silence, just with me crying. We sat on a bench in the park as the lamps came on from the darkness overtaking the light.

“I know it hurts and I know you don’t want to, but in order for me to help, I need you to tell me what happened? I’m not saying be strong, because that’s not fair, I’m just asking you to try and explain” she pleaded.

I just looked out into the distance at the park as I tried my hardest to think about to a few hours ago where anyone thought Dylan and I could have been saved, but we were doomed from the moment I got into his car.

I leaned forward placing my arms onto my thighs and cupping my hands around my face.

Stefan came towards the both of us with Frankie and a football.

“Ashley?” Frankie questioned as he stared at me.

Stefan crouched down in front of me and placed his hand on my knee, just next to my elbow.

I tried to stand up to walk away but had all three of them trying to sit me back down. Frankie dropped the football placing both of his hands on each shoulder of mine, Ashley tried reaching for my arm to pull me back down and Stefan held onto my hand really tight.

The weight of standing up with all this pain was just unbearable I couldn’t handle it at all.

“I can’t it all hurts” I cried, falling back down to the bench.

Stefan and Frankie were both crouched in front of me; Ashley remained with her arm on my back as she leaned forward to see my face.

“He doesn’t want me” I mumbled.

They all looked at me still, Stefan and Frankie were clueless but Ashley just wanted answers.

“He said that it would be best if we went back to being friends but he doesn’t understand that after this? I cannot physically be his friend, not after all this pain and all this heart that he and I put into it”

Stefan completely understood and he showed that in his face as he slowly rubbed my knee back and forth softly, but firm enough to keep me strong.

Frankie looked at Ashley expecting an explanation. “Dylan” she stated.

“Oh” Frankie began nodding.

We all looked up to see Dylan’s car, he was here to pick up Frankie and Stefan.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Frankie volunteered, being his brother.

I shook my head.

“It needs to stay between them” Ashley replied for me and Stefan agreed with her nodding his head.

Stefan kissed my forehead before walking to his car and Frankie put his hand on my shoulder leaning to kiss my cheek before removing his hand and walking towards Dylan’s car.

“Is he looking?” I questioned Ashley, staring at the ground.

Ashley looked up at the car and back down again. “No” she moaned.

“That’s it then” I wiped the tears from my face and stood up.

She stood up too and just looked confused.

 “I’m going away and hopefully I will get over him” I moaned.

That evening was the worst evening that you could think of. Dylan and I would have phone calls every day.

This was exactly the reason that I never planned on falling in love to begin with. Now that Dylan and I were apart. I just wanted more.