Four

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Russ Harris once explained that slow breathing is like an anchor in the midst of an emotional storm: the anchor will not make the storm go away, but will hold you steady until it passes.

He identified that although there may be no use to the anchor, it is the anchor that keeps you still, keeps you strong and keeps you from going too far.

As soon as I placed my head onto my pillow Frankie entered my room.

“Alright kid?” he asked, sitting at the end of my bed.

Both my hands were placed on my head and I shook it slowly as I started to cry quietly.

“Neavie you’re fine, it’s okay” he said trying to calm me down.

He moved as quickly as he could towards the bedroom door, closing it to stop anyone from coming in the bedroom.

I shook my head a few times before answering him. “It’s not okay”

He leaned forward on the bed parallel to me.

“I’m not fine” I moaned.

“No you’re not and it’s not okay” he agreed with me.

I turned my body towards him, laying completely on my side and just not even bothering to talk.

“So you can cry, but please tell me what made you not okay” he pleaded.

 “This whole situation with me and Dylan, Frankie I don’t know what I am doing” I complained

He lifted his head up and sighed before looking back down to my level.

“Dylan, he’s a maze” he explained to me.

I just stared at him, the look on my face was curious, just wanting him to continue explaining what he meant by what he said.

“I mean, he wants so many things but he goes for the things that he wants at different times”

“Me?” I questioned, it was follow by a sigh from him.

He looked me in the eyes and could see the pain inside mine, he could see how vulnerable I was feeling and by the looks of his eyes, the look on his face, he felt the pain that I did – this is why I loved talking to Frankie. No matter what situation I was in or anyone was in, he would attempt to put himself in that exact same situation

“I don’t know if he wants you like you think he does”

He held out his hand and left it there until I grabbed hold of it.

“I don’t know how to be something he wants then, I don’t want to be that girl who waits around, I hate waiting and how do I know that he’s worth it?” I whispered.

He smiled slightly at me, making me smile slightly in return

He whispered back to me. “You don’t know he’s worth it, but you also don’t know that he’s not worth it”

I nodded at him and looked towards the door as there was a knock.

He let go off my hand and kissed my forehead before walking towards the door and opening it.

“Can we talk?” Ashley questioned

I nodded, “sure”.

As she walked in, Frankie walked out closing the door behind him and Ashley sat on the bed parallel to me where Frankie was sitting.

“How are things with you and Taylor now?” I questioned.

“They aren’t perfect Neave, but we aren’t fighting with each other”

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