Waiting For Superman

Thirteen

After last night, Dylan and I arranged to meet with each other.

I closed his car door and he started driving.

“I’m going to drive us to where we usually go, is that okay?” he questioned, continuing to drive anyway.

I looked at his hands on the wheel and how tight he was gripping it. By now he would be holding my hand, not holding onto the wheel for dear life.

He caught me looking at him; he looked at me back and waited for my response before looking back at the road.

I smiled slightly. “Yes of course”

He smiled a sad smile whilst looking at the road.

When we arrived, we started walking the normal route that we would walk.

“Neavie, I know that you’re upset and I am too, but there is no reason for it. We shouldn’t be upsetting each other” he assured me.

I hated every second of this, I didn’t think I would and I thought I would fight my hardest but that became so difficult.

I was silent, I know he was awaiting my response but nothing was more difficult right now.

“Neavie”

I looked at him and nodded a few times, looking away as tears fell.

“This is so frustrating Dylan, I feel like you’ve lost respect for everything we had”

“What did we have?” his reply was fierce

Those four shocking words that made my heart break a little more.

“We had everything, everything was perfect”

“Dylan, I am going away for a month to Spain to work with children out there. You know that, you know that I won’t see you at all. If you are deciding to end things between us then I’m going to walk away with my head held high and not even flinch you realise that yeah?”

I was twiddling with my thumbs and he could hear my body shake as I spoke.

His response was in his eyes, he was quiet. His faced turned away from me a few seconds after I finished talking to digest what had been said.

“Well I’m gonna get you home then”

“Dylan it will make things easier” I explained

He started walking a little faster back to the car.

“That’s cool, it’s exciting that you get to go away” his replies were so fast that I could tell he wasn’t thinking.

My head remained pressed against his car door window as we drove down the last road leading to my house.

Without looking at him, I could feel that he kept looking over at me and watching me.

 “Neavie” his voice was very quiet

“I know we’re almost here” I whispered, voice croaky from the crying. I softly lifted my head off his window and turned it completely towards the window so he couldn’t see my face.

Neither of us knew what to say to one another, when at this point there probably was so much to say.  

“This is actually it, is it?” I questioned

He nodded in his reply, seeming unsure but sure enough to go through with it.

“Beautiful hearts do not get broken by beautiful people” I reassured him.