Him Or Her (TaeNie & YoonLice)

56

- Lisa

He is laughing while preparing the dinner...
I just got back from work, he took me off with the car and this is the only time he suddenly laughed.

I felt confused and curios...
But I didn't ask and I just watched him do his things.
Also examined how he is genuinely happy on laughing about something that is going on in his mind.

Then, he noticed me standing away from the dinning.

"Oh, the dinner will be ready, take your seat."
        He stated and wished.

"Thanks."
        I mumbled under my breathe.

Then he placed the whole steak on the table, still laughing softly on his own.

"I am starting to wonder why you keep on laughing. It's a little scary."
        Then, I spoke out and commented while scanning the foods he prepared.

"Sorry, I just found it funny."
        He sat beside me and I glances at him as he started to explain...

"See, I have a meeting with Jennie and Jisoo earlier. A lunch meeting, then, it just happened that Taehyung came to the same place where we are in, then he suddenly got livid."
         I was a little shock...

But I shook.it off and continued listening...

"I heard him saying that Jennie didn't tell him that she is going to meet me."
        He looked at me, and even held my hand for a moment to catch my attention.

He is this excited to tell it that he is asking for full attention.

"He looks so jealous, and seeing that kind of reaction is very funny."
       He ended the narration and laughed a little more.

It should be funny for me too.

It should look absurd for me as well but...
I should laugh the same way he is...

But forsooth, I am worried...
And what Yoongi is trying to do with the other two is absurd as well.

"Yoongi..."
        My lips mumbled his real name making him halt from chewing.

He looked at me slowly with an appalled expression.
My eyes landed on the table...
I placed my hands on my, hid it under the table and started to massage it in nervousness.

My eyes shut for a little moment.
I can sense his anxiousness, I can sense his confusion, I can sense everything from him including that feeling of wanting to take vengeance to the two person.

But I seem to can not fathom why he just can't tell them that he is alive or if he really wants to taste revenge, he should just have approached the law for it.

"Lisa..."
       My eyes opened as I hears his voice calling out my name.

I exhaled...
A deep amount of carbon dioxide.

"Nothing, I...nothing, forget it."
        I stated and removed my hands off from his touch.

"I'm not yet hungry. You can eat first, I'll just rest in the room."
       I have stood up and took few walks but I felt his palm on my wrist, his hand grabbing me, stopping me from walking away.

I gave him a look.
A blank look.

He didn't utter a word until I let out a questionable expression.

"What is it?"
         He asked, moving his hands down to mine, caressing it with apologetic eyes locked on mine.

"I said nothing."
         I answered seriously.

"Lisa."
        He whimpered out like begging for an answer.

I don't want...
I don't want to be an interruption to his life...
I dom't want to be a dictator for his decisions...
I know what he felt before, we both suffered on the same pain.

There are only two different things...

He is still suffering now...
He just started suffering to the same pain cause he was totally asleep while me...

I'm watching myself crying every night...
Every time I'll get to remember Taehyung and I's relationship. Every moment that I'll blame myself for him cheating on me.

"My tiredness is just coming now. And I also have my period, this is just a mood swing. I'll just take a rest."
         I lied, just to excuse myself from the situation.

"Is that really the reason? Is there no other reason?"
         He asked.

And I'm getting annoyed.
My eyes coldly stared at his.
I took a deep breathe and answered...

"None, as always."
         I mustered a seeming smile and remived his hands gently off from my mine.

And I moved to go upstairs...
To my room...

Where I usually cry alone...
Since the day Taehyung left me...
And even until now...

"That I still feel like something is wrong...
Here's the feeling of deficiency, it's still here.
Deficiency from the feeling being loved...
Being important, being enough, being the priority, being someone's everything."

I entered the room...
And as expected, until now, I cried again.

I know...
There's the part of him that loves me...
But there's also the part of him that is still confused and hurt from the past.

"And I'm just being an instrument for him to move on from the past."

💎💎💎

A:    Anyone that will complain about my lethargic updates?