Dead Drop

We're Not Heroes

(Tyler's P.O.V.)

The break between the curtains sent a bright light shining directly in my eyes waking me up. As I went to move, I felt a weight on my chest, then her familiar scent flooded my nose, and I could feel her lose strands of hair tickling my face. I cracked my eyes open and there she was. I told her very minimal cuddling, but when was the last time she actually listened to me? I always loved watching her as she slept. That sounded much creepier than I intended for it to, but she just seemed so peaceful as she slept there. As if nothing in the world bothered here. As if our impending deaths weren't staring us in the faces. That got really dark really quickly.

I brushed a piece of hair out of her face and felt her stir. I'd be okay if she woke up right now. We kind of need to talk. She came in last night rambling about how she made a mistake. I honestly thought it was a dream. Last night she was a mess...

"I made a mistake, Tyler. A really big mistake. About you, about us, I'm so sorry." She sobbed into me. What the heck is going on?

"Ela, love. What's going on? What's wrong?" I brought her into my room and sat her on my bed.

"It... it should've been you. I didn't know what I was doing. I was confused and you wanted to be a spy and I didn't want to be a spy and I didn't want to take that life from you because that's all you've ever known and I didn't want you to end up resenting me and I didn't want to end up resenting you." She cried. Her words slurred into hiccups which turned into more wails. I couldn't make out a single word she said.

"Ela, you need to pull it together. You know I can't understand you when you're an emotional wreck... well not this much of an emotional wreck, and I'm a year out of practice." I joked trying to make her feel better. And with that a smile formed on her face. She let out a light laugh as she wiped the tears away. I let her gather herself a little bit. She inhaled deeply before looking up at me again.

"Jerry and I broke up. Deep down inside I knew it was going to happen, but I wanted to believe that we could make it work. However, we were never meant to be. I only picked Jerry because it seemed like I would finally be able to live the normal life I always wanted. We had both such a rough past couple of year with being hunted by the Circle and all that. I just wanted to put that all behind me and start fresh. I knew I could do that with Jerry because I knew he wanted that too. But I don't want normal if I can't be with you. And I know that's cheesy, but it's true. And damn I really need to stop rhyming because it's making all of this seem like I joke, but it's not." She confessed, her eyes swollen and her voice scratchy.

"Ela, you're emotional right now. You just broke up with your boyfriend. You're in a weird place right now. I think..." I started but she cut me off.

"I think you should listen to me. I know that everything I said was the absolute truth. You still love me, right?" She argued, growing more frustrated by the second.

"Of course, I still love you. I never stopped loving you. I just..." I grabbed her hand but she pulled away from me.

"Then why are you fighting this so hard? Why are you pushing me away? I don't understand!" She whined, and the tears started to flow again.

"I'm not pushing you away, I just don't want you to make any more decisions solely based off of emotions. How about this? We can talk about this in the morning, after you've had a good night of rest. Can we do that?" I bargained. She sat there silent for a couple minutes.

"Only if I get to sleep here, with you. Please." She pleaded.

"Ela, love, I don't think that's a good idea." I shook my head.