Be the Delinquent's Girl

Chapter 9: He Didn't Look At Me At All

Chapter 9: He Didn't Look At Me At All

---- -- ----

MANA LOUISSE TACHIBANA

Flashback. Sixth grade elementary.

"Mana, pure Japanese ka ba?"

The curiosity in their eyes was very visible while looking at me. I smiled softly and answered their questions one by one.

"No. My father is a half Japanese while my mother was a pure Filipina."

Talking about my mother brought an excruciating pain in my chest. I continued to smile at them. Ayaw kong ipakitang mahina ako kahit gustong-gusto kong umiyak at maglabas ng hinanakit at sakit sa kanila.

I don't want to be a dark and emotional kid in front of them.

Ace, the boy who talked to me first when I transferred here in Inori Academy, creased his forehead. "Was? Why did you talk your mother in past tense?"

Shannon, Erza, and Iesha stared at me with intense gaze. Na parang kahit anong sabihin ko ay papakinggan nila. Na magiging interesado sila. Na makikinig sila palagi.

My lips trembled. Yumuko ako at kahit masakit sa puso ang sasabihin ko, ngumiti ako. "She died last month."

"Ohh... I'm sorry..." si Ace lang ang naglakas ng loob magsalita dahil nag-iwas ng tingin sina Shannon sa akin.

I don't want their sympathy. I don't want them to pity me. It's hard to move forward if you dwell too much on the past.

My mother died last month in Japan. It wasn't accident or anything. Bata pa lang ako, palagi na sa akin sinasabi na one day, baka bigla na lang mawala si Mommy sa buhay ko. She was always sick. May butas sa puso niya at palagi siyang nadadala sa hospital. Dalawang beses na siyang dumaan sa operasyon para maayos ang butas sa puso niya.

She passed away while having her second operation. She was brave. She took the risk of having a second operation kahit mababa ang success rate nito. But that braveness wasn't enough. That braveness killed her.

Nakaplano na ang lahat bago mamatay si Mommy. Balak naming umuwi rito sa Pinas pagkatapos kong grumaduate ng gradeschool. Pero namatay siya noong nasa sixth grade pa lang ako. Hindi niya pa ako napapanood magtapos ng elementary. Ang sakit sakit no'n.

Hindi namin kinaya ni Daddy manirahan pa sa Japan. Every corner, every place, every food, reminds us of Mommy. Kaya mabilis kaming umuwi sa Philippines.

Tinanggap ako sa Inori Academy kahit tapos na ang 1st periodical exam dahil nag-apply si Daddy bilang teacher dito. The headmaster understood our situation so he accepted us. I started again as a grade 6 student.

I'm still grieving. At night, I always cry myself to sleep. I miss my mother so much. I miss her foods. I miss her voice. I miss her kisses and hugs. I miss every bit of her.

Sa bahay, malungkot kami ni Daddy. Madalas ko siyang nakikitang natutulala sa isang banda. Nakikita ko siyang nakaluhod sa harap ng altar kung saan nandoon ang urn ni Mommy. Araw-araw ay kinakausap namin siya at nilalagyan ng mga bulaklak ang kanyang altar.

"Teka, okay lang bang tawagin ka naming Mana? Hindi ba sa Japan, kapag 'di close sa isa't isa, sa last name mo siya tatawagin?"

Naputol ang pag-iisip ko nang marinig ang boses ni Shannon. She purposely raised her voice para makuha ang atensyon ko. They knew I was thinking of my mother and starting to feel sad and lonely again. Kaya nagbukas sila ng panibagong topic.