Love Is Not The Enemy

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Cari's PoV

I'm really thankful for the fact that Shannon and I were best friends before we started dating. It was never a weird sight to see the two of us holding hands on our way to school or in the hallways when we were still just best friends. We always cuddled up to each other while watching movies and shared long, almost intimate hugs, whenever we saw each other after having spent less than an hour apart. The school was used to it, our friends were used to it and our parents were used to it, even Shannon's dad was used to it, and we were still so young when he got sick. Basically, everyone was used to it.

I think the fact that Shannon and I stopped hugging in school, stopped holding hands everywhere we could hold hands, stopped cuddling while watching movies with our friends, was more suspicious to everyone, than what it would have been if we had just kept on doing what we normally would have, even if those hugs, now, meant so much more than they ever have before. Sure, holding hands, cuddling, hugging each other close enough for small peck on each other's necks to be invisible to the rest of the world felt so much more intense than moments like those did before we fell in love. But to anyone who didn't know of the love we shared, it was normal. To them, we were still just best friends.

But we did stop sharing these forms of affection with each other while being in other people's sights for a while. We never actually talked about not hugging or only hold hands where no one could see, such as under the lunch table in the cafeteria, but we had some sort of mutual understanding in the matter, even though it was probably wrong, we both silently agreed it was for the best. We were both so scared something we would do or something we would say would give our love away. So, hiding all parts of our love, even the former platonic side of it, seemed like the only option.

But after having been together for over three months, seeing as it's already February, we both somehow realized that our lack of affection towards each other was giving away the fact that something was going on between us, more that staying our normal affectionate selves. I don't know why our minds changed, or why we seem to be, without knowing so, agreeing with each other in the matter, without having even spoken one word about it. Our minds seem to share an even stronger bond than we knew of. A bond we couldn't control. One that could, unknowingly, read the other's mind and, without a second though, agree with it.

I think it happened, our minds' new mutual decision, after the first music class I had with Ryan. Before that Shannon would wait, like normal, outside the door for me. But that day, when I had shared my love for another girl, my sexuality, with Ryan, something changed. I don't know if it was my mind that came to the new conclusion and shared it with Shannon's. Or if it was Shannon's mind that picked up on a change in my mind that came to the new conclusion. But somehow, they were both on the same wavelength when the door between us opened and our eyes locked that day.

Shannon, who normally would just send me a small smile and, for a short second, would brush her hand against my lower back, was, the second she saw me, opening her arms for me with a wide smile. I, for some reason, didn't even hesitate to run into her arms and wrap mine around her body, closing my eyes as our love was shared for the first time, with other people's eyes on us, in so long.

After that day we were back to our normal affectionate selves. Sure, what we share now is so much more that what we shared when it was still just platonic, but to everyone who isn't aware of the bond we actually share, we are just the best friends we have always been. In their eyes we're just back to normal. And that is what I'm thankful for. The fact that showing the love I have for my girlfriend, no matter how long our hugs are or when we hold hands, we still pass as best friends. Sure, our family picked up on the change in body language and longing looks towards each other, but that's different. They have seen our relationship grow, up close, since we were in diapers, of course they would pick up on it. But our friends, no matter how close - without Stevie and Ally who have been through the exact same thing - and the rest of the school, will never see the change from platonic to romantic, considering how close we've always been. As long as we want to keep this a secret, we can.