Love Is Not The Enemy

I AM NOT IN LOVE

Cari's PoV

"Bye mom, I love you" I shout as I step outside.

"Love you too, Cari" my mom shouts back right before I close the door.

I'm terrified of today, terrified of meeting Meghan, Amy and Jack who literally saw me break down after I kissed Shannon, terrified of meeting Alex and Vanessa who may have just destroyed mine and Shannon's friendship, but mostly terrified of meeting Shannon. What if she's mad at me for doing the dare, or disgusted by the fact that I kissed her, or just don't want anything to do with me anymore. I am terrified of losing her and I may have lost her last Friday, I may have lost my soulmate last Friday.

I shake my head, trying to get the thoughts out of my head. I look up again and see Shannon walking down the street we always walk down together. Shannon left to walk to school earlier to get away from me. She doesn't want to walk with me to school anymore.

It hurts to see her walk away from me, it feels like someone just punched me in the stomach, hard. My heart aches and a tear roll down my cheek. I fucking lost my best friend, my soulmate, I lost Shannon.

I wipe the tear away and take a deep breath, it's now or never, I can't lose her, "SHANNON!" I shout as loud as I can.

Shannon stops and turns around, looking down at her feet. I slowly make my way over to her. Each step making me more nervous. My heart is hammering in my chest and my breath is shaking. I stop in front of her, looking for her gaze. The second Shannon looks up at me and I see her face, it feels like someone rips my heart of my chest. Her eyes are red and puffy and I can see tears running down her cheek. She has dark circles under her sore eyes, it looks like she hasn't slept in a long time. Her eyes aren't their normal ocean blue color, more like a grayish-blue and the usual spark in them is gone.

She looks away from me and tries to wipe away her tears, but new ones find their way out of her eyes immediately. She inhales deeply and shakily before returning her gaze back at me.

I look into her eyes, finding only pain, nothing else, only pure pain. How could I do this to her, to Shannon, my best friend. I hurt her so bad, she's devastated, she's broken and it's all my fault. I did this to her. I take a step closer to her, stopping to see if she would take a step away from me in discomfort, but she doesn't. She doesn't move. I take another step closer and carefully wrap my arms around her neck, embracing her, trying to comfort her. Her body tenses up at first, but she relaxes into the hug after a second. She wraps her arms around me and lays her head on my shoulder, nuzzling it into my neck.

Her touch warms up my entire body and the familiar tingles fills up my stomach immediately. They quickly turn into confusion and frustration as the conversation my mom and I had Friday night rushes through my brain.

'You feel warm when you are hugging them and you get butterflies in your stomach.'

She always gives me this warm feeling, like it could be minus twenty degrees Celsius, and she would still make me feel warm inside. But the butterflies, is the tingly feeling in my stomach butterflies?

"Hey Shan" I whisper, still holding her tightly.

"Hai" she whispers cutely into my neck, sending chills through my body by her warm breath on my neck.

"Are you okay?" I whisper softly into her hair.

I feel her take a deep breath, "I wasn't... but I am now" she whispers and I feel her soft lips touch the sensitive skin on my neck, making my heart speed up, immediately wanting her lips on my neck again.

She smiles against my neck and I feel her lips on my skin again, and the tingles I had in my stomach, takes over my entire body. My heart explodes, making me smile widely at how amazing she makes me feel.