A Furious Chick

Life and Death

Katherine

People usually wake up, eat breakfast and go through the routine of life. But to actually live is rare. Living is enjoying life, making it your priority to be happy. To get up everyday with a smile on your face, it's probably the best thing you could ever do. And I failed at living.

I failed Brian. I failed my girls, I failed at life. My one task in this world was save family, kill the enemy. As a wife, my task was to love my man and fight for my man. But instead I fought with my man and hurt my man. As a mother, I was supposed to protect and guide. But my kids were kidnapped...and I'm dead.

-
I feel free.

I am floating. In thin air. My limbs are relaxed, my thoughts care free. I float over the world. I float over Brian who's a complete shit. Kaleb who's drowning himself in Bourbon in the hospital bathroom. Dom and Letty who are strapping the girls into their car seats... I observe the scenery. Maybe my girls are better off without me. Maybe this is my time. As I float there, I reminisce on life. I remember the time I was thirteen and just made my first gold medal in gymnastics. My parents wanted me to ace gymnastics so I can use the skills in battle. But at that moment, I forgot about the initial goal. I just soaked in the claps and cheers of my name. Katherine Howard. And then I remember playing the piano with Kaleb at sixteen. We followed each other's lead. We thought as one. As a pair. That was my favorite childhood moment. Forgetting the training and the ache of my bones...I was a normal kid doing something I loved.

And then I thought about Brian. The day we got married. Was I nervous? No. I was excited. I was excited to start a life with a creature like Brian. It amazes me amazing he is. He was good to me. Loved me despite my flaws and I just want to hold him and tell him everything I love about him.

And then I look to my left. My father was smiling at me. His smile made me feel safe. I felt at home. A slow smile broke out on my face as I reached for him. But then he stopped smiling and shook his head slowly. I began to move farther away from him. I struggled against the gravity, pulling me away. I fought to get back to him, I wanted to go with him. This world is better off without me. My girls, they deserve a better mother. Brian deserves a better wife. I flew across team once again, screaming.

-

My eyes opened slowly. I felt drowsy, disoriented. I looked around the room. I was in the hospital, hooked up to an IV.

"Kat?" Brian was next to me with Ruby and Quinn in his lap. Alina had Brooke.

I felt the scratchy feeling in my throat, thirsty. I saw a glass of water on the nightstand and grabbed it. I chugged it down. I sighed.

"How long have I been out?"

"Few hours, dear." Mom approached me.

"I, uhm, I saw Dad." I told her.

She paused.

"He was smiling at me...I wanted to go with him." I confessed.

"Your on heavy pain meds right now." Kaleb spoke up.

"No. I know what I saw. I saw you guys and then I saw Daddy. Why am I here? I want to be with him."

"You want to die?" Brian asked, his voice cracking.

"Everyone is better off without me. And you know it." I answered. "My girls were in danger because of me, Brian. I'm a fucked up wife, I neglect my brother..."

Brian stayed quiet.

"Mama."

We all turned our heads to Brooke.

"Mama."

Hearing her say that made me heart expand. My daughter said her first word. And it was my name she said. I adjusted the hospital bed to a sitting position and opened my arms to her. She reached for me, squirming around. I took her in my arms and smiled at her.

"Mommy's here, baby." I whispered to her.

-

YOOOOO! So I just watched the episode of Criminal Minds where Reid kissed some girl in the pool. WHAT IN THE FUCKERY IS THIS BULLSHIT?! THATS MY MAN! I'm so heated. 😡😡🤬 fucking Goldy Locks looking bitch. If she comes back as a guest star, I'm quitting the fandom 🤷🏼‍♀️

One of my workers at Chipotle wants to get promoted to kitchen Manager and she's only eighteen and the kitchen manager is the second most stressful position. My position,  apprentice, is hard asf. U gotta pick up slack, make schedules, fire people, make orders, stay for inventory 🙄🙄

-Chicken Soup 🍲