Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Broken Ideals

Chapter 34: My Persona

Chapter 34

My Persona

My name is Terron. Not that it matters much anyway.

In fact, that's not even my name. That's someone else's name. Zekra just gave me that name because she wanted to pretend that I was an old friend of hers who she lost. So what does that leave me? Exactly what I am right now: a nameless, faceless, powerless Cubone with no past and no purpose.

I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore. It's been three days since the incident that destroyed Aurora Town… I think. I don't see a point in keeping close track of time right now. They let me back into the Fellowship building with the rest of the survivors, but… there's nothing for me to do here anymore. So I just sit here in my bed. The bed that, in a few days, won't be mine anymore. In a room that won't be mine anymore.

I sit here with my skull in my hands and I stare into the eyeholes. I don't even remember what this skull belonged to. Was it a Deino skull? Is that what this was? It's so hard to remember when it's been tampered to suit my needs.

But I just… I stare at it, and I feel like I hate it. I feel like it betrayed me.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. None of this was supposed to happen. I thought, maybe, if I fought hard and made a good leader for the team, maybe I'd grow stronger and maybe I'd find some kind of a purpose here in the world of Pokémon. Maybe I'd figure out why I'm here and what happened to me before I lost my memories. Maybe I'd actually help fight back against the Plagued Ones.

I thought I was doing so well…

After surviving the hell-hole that was Erebus Woods, I felt pretty proud of myself for a bit. That mission ranked up our team quite a lot. Not to mention the fact that I was just happy to be alive and together with everyone. You don't know how much you care for someone until you see them almost die. I guess that was something Zekra always knew from the start. Which is why she gave me the name that she did.

But when it was all said and done, and we touched down back here, and when I had that talk with Zekra and Syn and Impetus… I really felt like everything was coming together. I felt like… that was what I was supposed to be doing.

I thought I was on my way to learning how to be a good leader and take a stand against the Plagued Ones. I even thought my plan to talk to Yimtri was so clever.

Pride before the fall, I guess.

And I just stare at my helmet, my persona, and I just direct all my hatred into it. As if this long-dead Deino is at fault for everything that happened. Because this… was my pride. This was the mask of pride I wore. The pride that blinded me. Pride that made me think that something good was going to come out of everything.

I blame it for everything. For the Plagued One attack destroying our home. For losing Syn and Impetus. And for the fact that I'm not a leader of a Fellowship team anymore. Now I'm just the leader of a group of misfit Pokémon who have been rejected by the rest of the world.

Sometimes I even forget I'm not a Pokémon by birth. This world has become my life. It's been so easy to slip into the mindset of a Cubone and just lose myself. I had no idea the world of Pokémon was so deep and meaningful, so full of culture and companionship and honor. I never would have known if I hadn't become one.

That's what the helmet did to me. I slip that skull onto my head, and I become Terron the Cubone. Strong, fearless, not giving a care in the world to anything human-related. My world revolves around Zekra, Novus, and all of my other friends. My purpose is to keep them alive and learn how to fight the Plagued Ones by their side. That's the mask I hid behind, thinking it would make everything okay. So it's not really my fault. It was my persona.