Glee-done (Discontinued)

Season 2, Episode 4 - Duets (Redone)

Cut to Brittany's bedroom where Brittany and Santana are lying down on her bed as Santana is kissing Brittany. "I love your sweet lady kisses," Brittany smiled. "Mmm-hmm. It's a nice break from all that scissoring," Santana said as Brittany agreed. "We should do a duet together. We should sing Melissa Etheridge's 'Come To My Window'," Brittany grinned as Santana pulled away. "First of all? There's a lot of talking going on, and I wants to get my mack on," Santana said as she then went back to kissing Brittany. "Well... I don't know, I just... I think we just..." Brittany began to say as Santana pulled away completely and sat on the edge of Brittany's bed. "Okay, second of all? I'm not making out with you because I'm in love with you and want to sing about making lady babies. I'm only here because Puck's been in the slammer for about 12 hours now, and I'm like a lizard. I need something warm beneath me or I can't digest my food," Santana said coolly as she put her hair back up in a ponytail. "But who are you going to sing a duet with?" Brittany asked as Santana smirked.

Cut to Santana talking to Mercedes in the hallway. "Why would I want to do a duet with you? We can't stand each other," Mercedes said confused as she approached her locker. "Look, Weezy, I realize I've tried to punch you a couple times, and sometimes when you're not looking, I put weird things in your food. But it's a new year, and you and I are the best singers at this school," Santana said. "I don't get what the big deal is, it's just a free trip to Breadstix," Mercedes shrugged. "Um, I'm sorry, have you been to Breadstix? They are legally forbidden to stop bringing you breadsticks. One time I brought a wheelbarrow, and when the manager tried to stop me from filling it up, I called the corporate office and got her fired," Santana said defensively. Mercedes sighed. "Well, I guess our voices do sorta go together," Mercedes said. "Mmm-hmm, that's right, girl! So if we do a duet together, we will be the undisputed top bitches at this school," Santana smirked as she walked off. Mercedes seemed to agree with Santana's argument as she also smiled as she closed her locker.

Cut to Finn and Kurt in line in the lunchroom. "You can't do this to him," Finn fumed. "You're over-reacting," Kurt said. "If he sings with you, you're painting a bull's-eye on his back," Finn said. "Once again, your closeted homophobia seeps to the surface like the contents of a cracked cesspool," Kurt said rolling his eyes. "Don't give me that. Look, I know I shouldn't have used that word in your basement, but it's not like you were innocent. I really like you, Kurt. But the fact of the matter is, the way you were all over me last year? If I did that to a girl, she'd take out a restraining order," Finn said. "You have issues with me being gay, I get it," Kurt said flippantly. "No, actually, I don't. I have issues with the fact that you don't understand that no means no," Finn protested. "I just want to sing with him," Kurt said. "Then you don't give a damn about any of us. If he sings with you, I guarantee within a week he'll take so much crap, he'll have to quit glee club," Finn said as Kurt thought about it "Your call, dude," Finn then walked off to the choir room where he and Rachel were rehearsing their duet of 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart'.

"We're totally going to win this thing," Finn grinned. "I know," Rachel said solemnly. "Wha- don't be sad. I mean, Breadstix has these vegan meatballs, they're... they're okay," Finn offered as Rachel took a seat. "I'm not really a nice person. I'm selfish. The fact is, I'm only really generous if there's something in it for me," Rachel said honestly. "Yeah, but I still like you," Finn said. "But you, you're so... kind, and open. Well, it's made me want to be a better person. We have to throw the competition," Rachel said. "But I love Breadstix," Finn frowned. "No, if we wanna win at Nationals, then Sam has to win this contest. Okay? He has to feel like he belongs and, and the team has to believe in him," Rachel said as Finn was impressed. "Wow, Rachel, I've never seen you like this. I'm kind of impressed," Finn smiled. "Well, like I said... you inspired me," Rachel said as she and Finn kissed. "But technically you're doing this because it'll help us win Nationals, which means there's something in it for you, so it doesn't really count as you doing something nice," Finn said. "Okay, so I'm just gonna ignore what you just said. Repeat what I said before: we just have to find a way for me to lose a singing competition so that the new kid sticks around," Rachel said. "Right," Finn said as he and Rachel decided to brainstorm a way that they could lose the competition.