I Am Iris

Chapter Nine: Left With an Alleyway

The light shining through my window warned my body that was still curled up above the blankets on my bed. I did my morning stretches with sleepy, half-opened eyes. Then, routinely, I squeezed into a dress made up of a beautiful assortment of brightly colored, sadly fake, feathers and muddy black boots. As I was brushing my teeth my eyes suddenly shot wide open and my toothbrush fell into the sink with a soft 'clink'.

"Moth!" I exclaimed, and as I did so, white, minty liquid dribbled from my mouth. "Oh darn," I sighed.

I had forgotten to feed Moth. And take her to the bathroom. Basically I had forgotten Moth altogether. How long had it been? Not too long, I hope. Oh who am I kidding?! I left my moth forgotten and abandoned to fend for herself, and it was obvious she wasn't going to do that.

And that is exactly why I shall never trust myself with the responsibility of caring for any child.

I took the last slice of bread from the fridge. I desperately needed food. It couldn't wait any longer, I thought as I carried the meal (hmph, some meal) to Moth. I broke off tiny pieces of the stale bread and slowly fed each one to her.

"I'm sorry I forgot about you, Mom. I didn't mean to, honest. I love you. You know that, don't you?"

Moth slowly nodded, her eyes staring up at me, dazed, through knots of blonde. She was so thin, so dead looking.

"I have a job. It's magical. I don't even have to wear roller-skates or anything. I’ll get paid and then I can buy food and whatever else is needed. I'm good at keeping care of myself... I guess."

Perhaps Moth would finally understand that she didn't need to feel any pressure or worries over me. That she was free to get up, put on pretty dresses and dance around the apartment. I could take care of us and she could have fun, just like it was once the opposite.

I could be her moth for her.

"I don't you need you anymore," I whispered. "You understand what I mean. Right?"

"Yes," Moth murmured so quietly I could barely hear. Her voice was so broken, just like the rest of her.

Then, an idea occurred to me. I sprinted towards my room and came back with a pink feather boa trailing on the ground.

"It's my favorite," I told Moth, smiling softly as I sat down gently on her bed. "It's ubers too long for me anyways."

I swung the boa loosely around Moth's bony shoulders. "Don't you look snazzy?!" I lied with a big, toothy grin.

Unexpectantly, Moth grabbed me and pulled me into her in what I imagined was supposed to be a hug. Her skeleton arms were wrapped around me in what I could only assume was all of her strength, which I can't help but consider a bit pathetic.

Moth pressed her cold lips to my ear. "I love you, Iris. Promise you won't forget?" She told me solemnly.

"Of course!" I proclaimed. How could I ever forget? A mother will always love their child, no matter how messed up they are. It’s just how it works.

Moth pulled back her arms and leaned her heavy head against the frame of her bed. She was staring straight ahead, right at the penguin calendar I had bought her for her birthday. I saw something glistening on her cheek. And now more. Waterfalls were streaming from eyes.

"I'll take you to the bathroom, but then I have to go school. I'm already super duper later," I admitted. "And you don't have to stay in bed all day," I prompted, hoping she would realize what I was permitting her to do. She could have fun again. Again? Has she ever even had fun?

That had to change, I promised.

After I was done helping Moth with the disposal of her body waste, I helped her gently into bed.