UNTITLED, 2017

XVIII.

I broke down as soon as I entered my room.

Dumating na yung araw na kinakatakutan ko.

Akala ko, prepared na ko if ever na mangyari yun, pero hindi pa pala.

I always thinking about that fact na hindi pa talaga siya sigurado sa feelings niya sa akin pero iba pa rin talaga nung siya na mismo ang nagsabi.

I dialled Jennie's number.

Pero busy ang number niya.

I tried dialling it again..

and again..

and again.. pero busy pa din.

"Jennie, please answer the phone.. I need you right now." I blurted out while trying to contact her for the last time.

But I failed.

Out of frustration, hinagis ko ang phone ko sa higaan and I cried my heart out until I fell asleep.

--

The next morning, nagising akong sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam.

My tears are starting to fall again.

"Parang gago naman tong mga luhang to oh." *sniff* "Parang si Veo lang. Tangina." *sniff*

*toot*

1 message received
From: Jendeuk Ganda :)
Good morning Lalice! Nakauwi ka ba ng maayos kagabi? Text me if gising ka na.

I sighed.

*Toot*

Another text message again?

"Sino na naman kaya ito?"

I checked kung sino man ang sender.

From: beb Rosé
Beb! Let's hang out later! G?

"Siguro kailangan ko muna ng isang tao na wala gaanong connection sa issues namin."

I sighed and typed on my phone.

To: beb Rosé
G beb! Where? What time?

She texted me the place and time where we will meet.

While prepping up..

*ring* *ring*

"Atat naman masyado tong si Roseanne."

I picked up my phone and got shocked when I saw who's calling.

Incoming call: Jendeuk Ganda :)

Binaba ko ang phone ko at hinayaang tapusin nalang niya ang tawag. Hanggat maaari, ayaw ko munang kumausap kanino man sa barkada.

---

Rosé and I went to Trinoma and watch a movie.

At sa kainaman nga naman ng pagkakataon, yung storyline pa is about unrequited love.

Sa kalagitnaan ng movie, di ko maiwasang hindi umiyak.

"Hey beb, you ok?" Rosé asked.

"Yes beb, I'm ok." I answered.

"I know you're not. Let's go out. Let's talk about your problem."

She stood up and grab my hand.

We went on the unpopulated part of Sky Garden. Rosé stood in front of me.

"I know you're not okay beb. Iba ang iyak mo sa mga scene kanina. What's your problem?" Rosé asked while holding my hands.

"Veo and I broke up last night." Then I broke drown.

Rosé hugged me and starts to pat my back gently.

"Go on.."

"H-he said that he's not sure about his feelings towards me."

"And then?"

"And he's not sure if he really loves me because of who I am or he just love me because I resembles his ex."

"Tangina nun ah!"

"Tangina niya talaga!" Lalo akong napa-hagulhol ng iyak dahil naalala ko na naman lahat ng sinabi niya kagabi.

"He don't deserve your love, beb. Wag ka na magpakatanga sa kanya. Siya na mismo ang nagsabi na hindi siya sigurado sa'yo. Bakit mo pa ipipilit ang sarili mo sa kanya?"

"Because I love him?"

"Fuck that love!" Binitawan na ako ni Rosé.

"Beb, umpisa pa lang alam mo nang mali yang love ninyo na yan pero tinuloy mo pa din! Tingnan mo ngayon, you're broken! I know it's not the best time para pagalitan ka pero beb! Mag-isip isip ka naman! Binitawan na ni Veo yang sinasabi mong love na hindi nga siya sigurado kung para sa'yo niya talaga naramdaman yun. Beb, maawa ka naman sa sarili mo. You're loving a person na hindi kayang i-reciprocate ang binibigay mong pagmamahal."

"Ganun naman talaga sa love diba? Di lahat ng binibigay mo kayang suklian? It's risk taking. And I'm willing to take the risk of loving him."

"Hay naku beb! Malala ka na! Masyado ka nang obsessed diyan sa Veo na yan!"

"Pero beb, I have a confession to make."

"Ano yun beb?"

"These past few days, I felt so confused."

"Confused about what?"

"I think I have a crush on mam Jennie."

"W-what? Can you say that again?"

"iiiiihhh!"

"Jusko naman Lisa! Ang co-complicated ng mga trip mong lovelife!"

"Rosé!"

I froze because a familiar voice called Rosé.

"H-hi mam Jennie." I saw Rosé formed an awkward smile.

--

May 1.
Hopefully, YG will drop their teaser already. #MayIsForBLACKPINK