The Black Panther (Discontinued)

Harper's Dream ( Revamped)

Please listen to music linked with chapter.

Warning: Very brief mention of Blood and Gore. Intense Angst.

Looking out at the water I couldn't help but notice that the water was continuously moving towards the shore, not outwards. Looking behind me I see a jungle and within this jungle there is a path. I follow this path slowly, walking in the shallow pond that lead me up stream. As I moved up this stream it felt like I was moving in slow motion. Every step took everything in me. It was almost as if something was pushing back against me. No matter how strong this push back was, I refused to get give up. I refused to go back to the shore. My neck heats up in anticipation as I continue to trudge through the water. Little tiny fish swam past me, dodging my feet with each step. My skirt was soaked with water but I didn't mind. I had absolutely one goal and it was to get to that house at the top of the hill overlooking the ocean. Looking up I realize how bright the sun is. The sun is so bright it feels like it takes up the whole sky. The rays sink into my skin and warm me in contrast to the cold water at my feet.

It seemed like the water would never end. No matter how fast I tried to walk I wasn't at the house at the top of the hill yet but then suddenly I felt rocks. Warm rocks pressed against my feet as I managed to finally get on path with the house. The front door was already open. I pushed against it and it revealed our honeymoon home. Everything was in place. I walked around looking at all the photos of us. We'd taken many over the course of our marriage that ended so abruptly. In my heart I would forever be T'Challa's wife. What hurt most is thinking about what could have been. Not having the chance to grow old with him was one of the most devastating things that could happen...and it happened. I vowed to myself from them on that I would NEVER take another happy moment for granted. Truthfully I wasn't sure if I'd have another happy moment.  I was pregnant with no husband for support, I was being verbally abused by the new King, I'd lost both my parents in the same night and I wanted to die. I wanted to die. Last night sealed the deal. Where T'Challa was, I wanted to be there. I felt so guilty thinking this because I was pregnant with his child. I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. That was the thing about depression. It clouded your mind SO much that it completely killed all optimism. I couldn't even see myself a second into the future.

Stuck, stagnant, frozen. Every second of being alive was a burden to myself. Every problem I ever had was magnified as I looked back onto my life, my childhood, my relationships. Now more than ever I felt the bad outweighed the good. My life started getting better and then it was ONE thing after another. What was the point of going on ? What was the point of even surviving Killmonger if T'Challa wasn't there ?

In the midst of my thoughts I heard the cry of a baby come from a distance. I looked around not knowing where it came from. I started to become very worried. The noise alone made my heartache. I was also confused as to why the noise of in infant was in our home. I wondered up the steps to the house slowly, my bare feet squeaked the hardwood floors. The babies crying got closer and closer as I inched to a cracked bedroom door.

I stood behind the door before taking a peek through the crack. My eyes slightly widened when I saw T'Challa standing there. His back was to me as he softly rocked and shushed a baby. The baby had stopped crying now.

" He sensed you were home ", T'Challa's voice called out to me. 

" T ? ", I called out to him shakily. The last time I saw him was when he was being thrown over a waterfall. He slowly turned around revealing the sleeping baby in his arms. The moment our eyes connected I felt my tears, I went to wipe them but I felt nothing.

" There's no time for crying anymore Entle. You've done enough of that ", he insists.

" You don't know what's happening -", I start but he he cut me off.