Just You and I: Book 1 (Cody Carson)✔

I Just Don't Understand

I tapped my pen against the library table, many thoughts going through my head, all unrelated to History or Math. All my thoughts led me back to one thing, or person I should say, Cody Carson. He interested and deeply confused me. "Amelia? You seem to be focused on staring at the book shelves instead of solving for X." Alex pointed out. "X can solve its own damn problems. Tell me everything you know about Cody." Vic and Alex both exchanged looks of amusement. "He didn't move here until the 8th grade, made quick friends with his little group. He was always hot headed, but he became worse when the accident happened." Vic bit his lip and I frowned. "Accident?" Alex nodded and picked up where Vic left off, "It was right before summer started, the summer that ended our 8th grade year, his parents were in a house fire. Both died, he was deeply devastated. He lives with his older sister, but from what it looks like, she's not around much. Cody relies on his friends for emotional support. During 9th grade, he beat the ever living shit out of this kid, the kid had called his sister a dyke. He got worse from there, attempted everything that could possibly kill a person. Dr. Way had banned anyone from rooming with him after he gave this one girl a broken nose, she had accidentally broken a picture frame in their room. Cody's dangerous, and I'm not sure why he hasn't sent you running yet."

Shock isn't the word you would use for my thoughts and emotions. It makes sense why everyone seems to be afraid of Cody. That's why he wanted me to talk to him about Simon, he understands what I'm going through. But what I don't understand, is why I'm not running for the hills. Cody seems extremely dangerous, but he just sounds misunderstood. I sighed and shut my book. "I know what he's going through. Though I don't lash out like he does, I still get it. Alex knows but my best friend killed himself almost three months ago, it destroys me to think about. My dad left when I was 12, he just walked away without ever telling me goodbye. To say I'm angry is an understatement." Both boys didn't say a thing, just kept an uncomfortable silence between us. "I'm going to go to my room. Tell Rian that I'll join you guys for the next Saturday hangout." I packed up all my things and left the library in a rush. The information is an eye-opener, I could use this for good or bad. There are some gaps though. Some parts I don't quite understand, which is understandable when you have someone else tell you someone's life story.

When I reached the room, I wasn't surprised to see Cody and his friends there. "You're back early." I shrugged, not really up to explaining the reason. My head buzzed with so many questions and comments. "How was studying with the cool kids?" I rolled my eyes. "Cool kids? They seem just as ordinary as you are, though not as mysterious. Maybe to them you seem cool and they're the losers. It's all about perception." I set my things down and collapsed on my bed, reaching for the sticker coated laptop on my bedside table. "That is a way to put it. Has anyone told you you're intelligent?" Sure many people have, but only one person mattered out of all the opinions. "Many times. I don't really count myself as intelligent. Academically advanced is a better label, but who needs labels? They're just society's way of explaining people or things." I never once looked up at the group I was talking to, my eyes stayed trained on the screen. I scrolled through my pictures and documents, hoping to find something to occupy myself with.

"You got yourself quite a keeper Cody." Those words only burrowed me deeper into confusion. What did he mean by that? I felt my stomach explode with emotion. It was like an ongoing war with myself. A war for lost questions and trains of thought. I've only been here for a week and it has been one hell of a ride. I've never been so confused or frustrated in my life. I've always had something to keep my grounded, but he's gone and I'm just floating around in the empty space. "You look like you're solving one hell of a math problem," Cody laughed. "It might as well be one."