Tangled Strings (sequel to Red Strings)

Chapter 7

"Yeah me and Sky were planning on heading out anyways, so it would be perfect for Calum to drive Nat back!" Luke said cheerily.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME LUKE.  I knew Luke meant well but I desperately wanted a way out.  

But there was no way out of this one.  And I knew it.  So I smiled and said "I like that idea."  So finally, after I said goodbye to the others, me and Calum got in the car, and he revved the engine before starting what was feeling already like the longest drive of my life.

We were a couple minutes into a silent treatment siege before Calum finally said "Why didn't you tell me?"  I bit my lip and then said "Tell you WHAT." "About uni.  Why couldn't you tell me where you were even planning to go to?"

"Well it didn't seem like you would care anyways." I said slumping back in my chair a little.  "What do you mean I wouldn't care?  Natalie, you're my girlfriend and I care about what you do and you as a person!" Calum said

"Oh really Calum?  Because what was that whole deal back when you first came back?  You wouldn't hold my hand!  And when we were on the street you said we were 'friends'.  Do you know how much that hurt?  If you really were concerned about me, you wouldn't have done that!" I argued.  

"Well what if I was trying to protect you!" "From WHAT?!" "Who do you think!  The FANS Natalie!  The FANS.  They are supportive but do you have any idea what would happen the second I told them I had a girlfriend?  Do you have any idea?" Calum snapped

"Well Luke seemed perfectly fine showing the world Skyler!" I said before Calum replied "That was a decision between Luke and Skyler!  Skyler CHOSE that fate." "So why did you make the decision for me?  And why couldn't you just tell me what you wanted?!" I asked trying to hold back the tears.  

"Babe its more complicated than you think, it would take a lot of explaining...." "For fuck's sake Calum just spit it all out!  I'm done with all this holding back!  I don't want all these secrets, and I've told you before how much I hate people lying straight to my goddamn face!" I screamed at him, feeling even more on the verge of tears than ever before.

Calum was silent for a moment, as I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks, as I sunk back into my chair, looking out the window.  "Do you want me to tell you?" he whispered and I then whispered "Yes.  Please."

Calum sucked in a deep breath before he finally said "Listen, management is scared that we're going to lose fans if they discover that one half of the band is taken.  They don't want us to come out to the fans, at least not yet."  I paused, all of it sinking in.  "That sounded like a lot of bullshit." I stated not looking at Calum as he continued driving.

"Babe, that's not the only reason though.  I don't want you getting hurt.  I don't want you to be exposed like that, to have all that attention.....and the hate, Natalie the HATE I'm not going to put you through all that pain just because you're my girlfriend." Calum said "Well you don't seem PROUD to have me as your girlfriend!" I objected

"Natalie I didn't want to get caught!" Calum defensively replied "Oh I can imagine it, on one of the tabloids: 'Calum Hood- Caught with Miss Mysterious!'  That's great Calum that you're so concerned with what YOU want that you can't even talk to your own girlfriend about it, or oh wait should I say FRIEND?" I said emphasizing some of the words.  

"Are you seriously still hung up over that?  At least it was only ONCE." Calum said before I rolled my eyes and said "And you're hung up over the fact I didn't tell you about freaking UNIVERSITY." "Because I thought I was one of those people close enough to you who would get to know these kind of things!" Calum said.

"Yeah, I thought I was important to you too Calum." I said looking out the window, realizing we had finally arrived in my neighbourhood.  "What do you want me to do Natalie?  Really, what do you want me to do?" 

"Maybe actually care about your girlfriend rather than the world Cal.  Try caring for someone who actually does love you and care for you despite what you've done.  Despite all this bullshit." I said swallowing the lump in my throat.

"You know I love you Nata-" "No, stop it Calum!  You keep doing this!  You keep saying you love me!  How the hell do you expect me to BELIEVE you about it all!  After all the bullshit you said to my face, you still have the nerve to hurt me even more!  Calum how can you really love me huh?  Cause you sure don't act like you do." I said as feeling my heart beating faster, my head spinning and the tears rolling down my face yet again.

Calum had us parked in the small plaza for the Glob.  There was no one right now on the Sunday afternoon, so thankfully no one would have see us fighting.  "You know I never meant to hurt you..." Calum started his hand reaching out to wipe away the tears.  

"Don't. Touch. Me." I said pushing his hand away.  Calum was silent as I sat there, tears rolling down my face.  "But you know babe that I never wanted it to be like this...." Calum said moving closer to me.  I was frozen.  I just kept staring ahead, my vision blurring.

"I never did try to hurt you like this darling....." Calum whispered tucking a strand of hair away from my face.  

I looked at Calum and said "I may have trusted you with some stupid game, but that will never mean that I'll trust you wit-" "With your heart?  Nat, babe.....I promise I won't hurt you." Calum said, grabbing my hands.

I felt the tears well up in my eyes and said "Stop making promises you know you can't keep."  I began to retreat again.  "I know I can keep this one." Calum said gripping my shoulders.  

The memory seemed like yesterday.  The day that me and Calum were truly looking at this as if it were meant to be, as if it was meant to happen.  But maybe we were just kids in love, and maybe this mistake was one to be made just so that I could learn from it.  Maybe.

"I TRUSTED you Calum.  I TRUSTED you with something that you PROMISED you wouldn't kill.  You thought you could.  But turns out you're just like every stupid person who I trust with my heart." "Darling I kno-" "I'm not saying that I wasn't expecting to get hurt if and when we broke up Calum.  I just didn't think that you would try to stomp all over my heart and destroy it like this.  I really didn't think you were that kind of guy." I said before finally opening the car door and hopping out.

"This is your car!" Calum said stepping out of it too.  "I know.  But I need you to get your ass out of it." I said reaching for the door to the driver's side.  Calum stopped my arm and said "Natalie.....just hear me out we can work through this." "No Calum.  We can't.  I'm sorry but I want out.  I want this thing to end.

"You want out?  You wanna end EVERYTHING?  If it's just us being a secret thing darling we can fix that if you wanna come out to the fans we can, we can work through this together....." Calum said leaning in closer, his forehead pressed against mine.  I shook my head, as I bit my lip before finally saying "I'm sorry Calum.  But maybe you need someone else to love.  I can't go on like this, I just can't."
"Natalie....." he said his eyes watering up.  

"We can try this babe, give it another shot...." he said cupping my face, forcing me to look at him.  "Calum you can't fix this one.  We don't just need a break, we need a break up." I said swallowing the lump in my throat.  "I never wanted it to end this way." Calum said before I said "I don't think anyone would."  He leaned in a kissed me, slowly, as if he were trying to revive something, as if maybe if we kissed for long enough and we wished hard enough, that it would just be right before the One Direction tour, before all this happened.

The second Calum pulled away though and I could feel it all gone.  I wanted to pinch myself and hope this was a dream.  But I knew it wasn't.  "I'm so sorry." he whispered before I soundlessly stepped into my car, slamming the door and speeding off home.

I ran in, running up to my room, before slamming the door and falling apart, as I collapsed onto the bed, the sobs racking out of my body one by one.  I couldn't handle the idea of me and Calum being over, but I knew it had to be done.