Pure Pain, Excruciating Love

Chapter 13

Ashton's attention diverted to me and he quickly nod. 

"Can we keep this just between us for now?" I weakly said. 

Ashton's eyebrows furrowed, which meant I made no sense. 

Sighing, I explained, "Can we not tell anyone about us. Just for a little while?" 

This time he understood, as his facial expression went back to normal and his fingers laced through mine as he pulled me closer to him. 

"As long as you're mine," he whispered, as he pecked me on the lips. 

Smiling with happiness, I decided to pull him in for a deeper kiss, which obviously Ashton enjoyed.

     After getting a shower, brushing my teeth, and finally feeling much freshened up, I decided to just stay in Ashton's room. I snooped around, going through some of his CDs and sketches. I did ask if I could before he left. Anyway....for the first time in months, I felt relaxed and not tensed as to when I would be called down to clean, to cook, or to just get yelled at or punished. I settled on Ashton's bed and looked down to the sketch I held in my hand. It was one of me, the one where I looked so miserable, torn, and broken. My hand unconsciously held onto the pendant I always had dangling down my chest. Closing my eyes I sent a prayer, thanking the angel above that is protecting me. Ever since I lost him, I always made sure to believe he hasn't entirely left me, he's always beside me just like he was when he was alive, with me. My fingers traced above the pendant while my eyes prickled with tears. Memories of him always ended up making me cry. It wasn't easy for me. It was hard to deal with the pain, with the thought that the one person who truly loved you and who was always there to keep you happy and protected is wrenched out of your life. But now, in someway, I have hope. Ashton. As cliche, or corny, as it sounds, I do believe he's my hope. Without him, yesterday night would have ended terribly bad. Without him, I would be a lost case. In his own way, he keeps me stable, he makes me want to smile, want to laugh, and want to enjoy time. It's crazy how one's life can change upon one person.

     The click to the door had me sprinting off the bed and running to the door. Ashton entered with two bags in his hands. 

"Hey," he grinned. 

"Hey," I exclaimed back. 

"So, I stopped on my way and got us some snacks," he informed me as he walked into the kitchen and placed the snacks on the counter top. 

"Awesome," I remarked as I helped him emptying the bags.

"I thought we could watch a movie," Ashton suggested. 

Agreeing, he left the kitchen after giving me a kiss on the cheek and saying he'll get changed and come back. Noticing the time on the little microwave Ashton has in the corner on the countertop, I was surprised to see that it's almost lunch time. He did take a while at his mother's. Ashton walked into the kitchen right then. 

"I didn't notice the time," I voiced my thoughts. 

"Hmmm, me neither," he shrugged. "Are you hungry?" He asked. 

Now that he's mentioned it, I actually am. 

"Kinda," I mumbled. 

"I'm starving," Ashton stated, rather strongly, making me laugh. 

"How about we order?" 

I nodded to that as Ashton came to my side, placing his hands on my waist as he stood in front of me. 

"You look better, much more....fresh." 

Shrugging my shoulders, I draped my arms around his torso and hugged him as I just needed him to hold me. His arms tightened around me as his lips kissed the side of my head, right above my ear.