Pure Pain, Excruciating Love

Prologue

It was clear, so clear. I could keep looking and find nothing. I could keep questioning myself and come with nothing. Yes, I said it was clear, but clear as the sky, no answers, no clues, nothing. Where was I you ask? In my dream world. A world where all you can do is relax, not worry about anything, not find answers. Nothing. Because that's what I've learned in my life. I, Samantha Hale, have nothing, am getting nothing, is waiting for nothing. Simple. Yes, maybe crazy and unrealistic, but complete truth. My life changed two years ago, since then all I have is nothing. Yes, I was loved, yes, I smiled, yes, I laughed, but this all changed and I never regained anything. Family? Yeah right! Friends? As they say, they come and go, but in my case they go, and it might be my fault. Relatives? Zero. Hobbies to fulfill the day? If you consider studying, cleaning the house, buying groceries, hiding the many alcohol beverages, then I've got many....more like obliged to many. Cooking, that's my paradise, doing something that eases my mind. People may say that I'm a sad, pitiful person. I don't give a damn! My life changed in the worst of ways, I don't know how I'm still alive and sane with everything going on. I don't like to mope, I don't like to ask for help, and I most certainly hate seeming like the 'poor' 'pitiful' girl. Yeah, my life sucks, I have nothing, but maybe I can turn this around, maybe this can change. How? I'm trying to figure that out.

      Every one goes through shit in life. Who are we kidding? We all cry, we all get desperate, we all feel like giving up. I've experienced everything and yet, I'm still never prepared. I'm seventeen, I go to high school, I'm studious, respectful, am able to provide for myself with the jobs- yes plural- I have. I do this because I'm determined to change. Once I walk down the damn stage at my graduation, I'm getting the hell out of here and starting a new life, and filling the nothing with something. But little do I know that my plans will change. Why? Because in that clear, oh so clear place emerges someone, someone who's going to impact my life in a way no one ever has. Someone who might help me find something now to fill that nothing, someone who'll etch a smile onto my face, someone who I'll trust, want, need, and love. The twist? With this someone will come changes. These changes? Something that'll turn both our lives upside down, something no girl my age will want to face. What'll happen? I have no idea. So without further a do, I am going to state my one and only goal, my one and only mission, the mission that soon I'll find myself on with that someone, but later realize it's not as hard and the answer has been right in front of me......I'm going to survive this Pure Pain, Excruciating Love.