Repairing the Hurt

Chapter 13

We pull into the hotel parking lot where the boys will be staying.

I knew this moment was coming, but I'm still not ready to face my past alone.

After everything else I've faced this past year, this should be a cake walk, but nope. Instead I've reverted back to my scared, childish self, not wanting to face my old classmates.

If I can take on psychotic rapists, then I can take on some high school assholes.

It's almost nine in the evening, and the sun's starting to set. I'll be lucky if I make it to Bryce's cabin before dark.

The others sense this too.

I can feel their reluctance at letting me go, but their resignation as they understand they have to.

The Jeep is unloaded first, but the bags are placed on the ground instead of taken inside immediately.

North hands me the keys. "I swear to god, Sang Baby, if you need anything or get worried or even just need a break, you redline us. Don't hesitate," I know he's referring to the time at Ashley Waters when McCoy attacked me, "Vic took out your white, so you only have red now unless you call us." I can see his concern and it's doing nothing to ease my own.

"Okay," I agree, accepting the keys.

"We'll be listening through your phone to make sure nothing happens that we don't know about. If anything goes wrong, we'll be right there," Kota reassures.

"I want you to call us every few hours," Owen steps in, "Just a routine check in so we can communicate with you."

I nod, trying to alleviate my nerves.

They each take turns and I hug them.

"Call us when you get there," Victor adds.

All too soon, I'm leaving.

I'm shifting the Jeep into second, then third, then I'm on the highway, heading north.

I arrive just as the sun goes down.

My headlights scan the trees, the barely there dirt road that I'm surprised I found.

I'm in the deep woods, now, and I feel like I'm walking into a horror movie.

The large cabin seems to rise from the ground in all it's wealth and glory.

A few other cars are here, and I'm grateful I'm not the only one up here tonight.

I kill the engine and call Kota.

He answers immediately, "You're there?"

"Yeah I just pulled up. I'm kind of surprised I even have service right now."

"We'll call that a miracle."

"Kota?"

"Yeah, Sweetie?"

I hesitate a moment, "You're planning on listening the whole time?" I'm drawing patterns on my thigh, waiting.

"One of us will be, why?"

Another hesitation, "You may not want to."

The confusion is clear, "Why?"

I take a breath. "Because you might hear things that you don't want to know. Things that may make you think of me differently."

The minute I cross that threshold, I lose control over what they know about me.

"Sweetie, we will still feel the same, even if we discover you did something gross or embarrassing. We accepted Luke, after all, didn't we?"