Visiting Mommy-Bill

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              Bill sighed as he drove the car through endless traffic, "Come on, people learn how to drive..." A small fit of giggles came from the back seat. Bill looked in the rear-view to see Ian, his oldest, tickling Teagan, his youngest. He smiled before looking back at the road ahead, "You two okay back there?" Ian shrugged as he responded, "Yeah, just playing around. How much longer til we get there?" Bill thought about the distance left, waving one hand around, "Probably about 20 minutes with this traffic." Teagan leaned forward onto her knees, "We're visiting mommy today, right daddy?" Bill nodded in answer, "That's right, princess. Did you bring your gift?" He watched in the mirror as she nodded, smiling proudly as she held a daisy chain up in the air. It matched the one that lay on top of her curly hair. The rest of the drive past uneventful, allowing Bill to think to himself. Had it already been five years since then...hard to believe. He thought about your smile, the ways your eyes sparkled when you laughed and the shiver that went up his spine when you said his name.

                He pulled the car through the gates and drove around until he came to the right spot. A few other people were around, visiting as well. He took in a deep breath as he grabbed the bouquet he had purchased just for today. Carefully he helped Teagan out of her car seat and then the trio made their way to where you were. As they approached their destination Bill noticed that the old flowers had wilted and was glad he had purchased the new ones. Teagan ran up to the large black stone, there in the center was a photo of you; one of Bill's favorites. Underneath it was an engraving, Beloved Mother. Greatest Friend. Treasured Wife.
Teagan traced the writing with her fingers like she did every time they came to visit. Ian ran up beside her, " I want to go first this time, T."

       She gave a small pout, crossing her arms as she moved away. Ian sighed as he knelt down, "Hey Mom. I thought about you a lot recently...my grades are really good this year. I know you would be proud of that. I also made a friend, Sam. He is hilarious and loves to paint like you did. He saw a photo of you and painted a portrait for me to bring today." He placed the portrait in-front of the stone, "He did a great job. It almost looks alive...I wish you were here. I miss you. Well, I guess I'll let Teagan talk to you now."  He stood and walked over to Bill, his stance drooping a bit from being sad. Bill put a hand on his sons' shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. He knew the feeling all to well. Teagan flopped down onto the grass, "Hey mommy, I brought you something too! It's a daisy chain that I made. It matches mine so we can be twinkies! Daddy says its as pretty as our smiles, cuz we have the same smile. I hope you like it..." Then she kissed the flowers before laying it across the top of the stone. She hopped up and walked to stand by Ian. The two watching as Bill removed the old flowers and placed the new ones into the stand.

       He took in a shaky breath before speaking quietly, "Hey babe, it's me. I can't believe how fast the time has gone by. The kids are growing so fast. Soon, Ian is going to be as tall as I am. Teagan is going to start taking ballet this year. I know you always hoped she would be into that." He let his head drop, his heart heavy from not being able to hold onto you, tears forming in his eyes, "I miss you...so, so much. It's hard doing this by myself. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm screwing up. I know you told me that you wanted me to move on, love someone else. Well, I tried recently. Went on one date and it was the hardest thing ever for me to do. Even harder than raising these two." He chuckled a bit as the tears started to fall, " See, the thing is, I can't move on. I fell in love with you and you stole my heart. It doesn't matter if you're not here physically anymore. You'll always be with me in my soul. I'll never be alone or lonely, so you don't have to worry about that. Okay? This is my choice and I'm happy with it because you will always be the one I love." He caught his breath and wiped the tears away, "Okay. We will visit again soon. Bye babe." He kissed his finger tips and placed them on the photo of you, smiling weakly. Gathering himself he turned to the kids, "Alright. Let's go out for dinner tonight, yeah?" Ian nodded and Teagan gave an excited smile, "Yay!" The small family made their way back to the car, all the while talking about their mom; you.

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