Coming Out Is Not An Option When There's A Trap Outside The Door (girlxgirl)

One

I nearly twitched with nervousness as I shut the car door, carrying my bag in one hand. Taking a deep breath, I turned towards the house. 

Estelle burst out of the door, throwing her arms around me. "Jodene! You came!" 

I couldn't seem to breathe correctly at her touch and awkwardly hugged her back. "Yeah." 

She drew away, excitement clear in her bright smile that made my knees slightly weak. Following her inside, I was instantly thrown into a party mood. My bag was left by the steps to her finished basement where we'd be sleeping. It was Estelle's birthday party, and most of the girls were sleeping over. I was kind of panicking because no one knew my secret yet. But I didn't exactly plan on telling anyone. 

I let myself sink into the normalcy, gossiping and laughing at stupid things until Estelle's mom said it was time to open presents. Estelle, who was getting really hyper after downing two Monsters, was standing right next to me and started jumping up and down, grabbing my hand and dragging me with her to the living room, where the table piled with presents was. I laughed with everyone else at the high-strung birthday girl, but as we sat down, my heart was still hammering. 

- 

After all the presents, ice cream, and cake were done with, the excitement died down a little. We all went downstairs and, after changing into our PJs, sat in a circle on the floor, wondering what to do after more gossip had been exchanged. 

"Well, Spin the Bottle's out," a girl named Sandra giggled. "Unless we're all secretly lesbians." Again, I laughed along, but I felt a knot twist itself into my stomach and peeked over at Estelle to find she was looking at me too. I quickly looked away and shut out my thoughts. 

"Um... at my cousin's last party, she tried to contact a ghost," Tabitha Camp offered. 

"I really don't think Estelle wants a ghost in her basement," Kate Myres said. 

"I don't," Estelle laughed. "How about Truth or Dare?" 

Everyone agreed, and Estelle chose a girl named Chloe to start. She dared Tabitha to lick the bottom of her shoe. After Tabitha had done that, afterwards gulping down about a gallon of water, she picked Angie Curtis and got her to Truth that her first kiss was on a Ferris Wheel. Everyone thought it was really romantic until she said that he'd been really afraid of heights and threw up right after they got off. 

Then, while Tabitha went to the bathroom, Angie picked Estelle. 

"Truth or dare?" 

"Um..." Estelle thought for a second. "Dare." 

"I dare you..." Angie looked around the room. A few people whispered suggestions, but she shook her head. Then her eyes lit up with a mischievous glint. "I dare you to kiss someone here." 

Tabitha came down then, looking from face to face. "What'd I miss?" 

"Angie dared Estelle to kiss someone here." 

"Ooohh," Tabitha squealed, her eyes turning to Estelle. 

Estelle wore an embarrassed smile, her cheeks flushed cherry red, and looked around the circle. "Anyone?" she squeaked. 

Angie nodded. "Anyone in this room." 

Everyone watched as Estelle stood, looking around. She headed across the circle, looking like she was going to head for Chloe, then turned back and looked straight at me. 

I turned as red as her when she kneeled in front of me and pushed her hand gently through my hair, then leaned forward and placed her soft lips on mine. I felt mine moving in response to hers, even though I felt frozen in time. The kiss started to get deeper when it seemed we both realized there was other people there and pulled away. 

Without another word, Estelle went back to her seat. "Darcy, truth or dare?" 

- 

I was snuggled deep into my sleeping bag. The lights were out and I heard Sandra's slight snoring and all the other girls' breathing. They were fast asleep, but my mind was still racing, which it had been since Estelle had kissed me. It had seemed so clichéd, how it was like a spark of electricity, but in real life the cliché had been so much more than words. 

Suddenly a hand grabbed my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my sleeping bag. I rolled over and peered up to see Estelle standing over me. 

"Jo? Can we talk?" she whispered. I nodded and got up, following her and stepping over the sleeping forms of the other girls. We silently tiptoed up the steps and she led me outside, grabbing a blanket off of the couch. "Just in case it's cold." 

We sat together on the little bench swing outside. 

"So, I've been meaning to talk to you," she said, looking down at her feet. 

"Yeah, me too." 

"Um, well... I guess it was kind of awkward for you when I kissed you earlier." 

I didn't say anything. I wasn't going to lie and agree, but I didn't want to tell her I liked her. 

"But I kind of want to tell you something--I just need to tell somebody, and, I don't know... I just thought I'd tell you." 

I glanced at her. She was still looking down, but I think she saw me out of the corner of her eye because she looked up too. I could tell whatever it was troubled her. "What is it?" I asked, my voice very quiet for some reason. 

"I... I think guys are cute and all, but I just can't imagine myself with one. And when I kissed you, I think I figured it out. I mean, I've been thinking it for a while, but I never really knew for sure. I think I know now, though." 

"What?" The question was stupid, because I already knew the answer. 

"I think I'm a lesbian," she whispered, her lip trembling. She searched my eyes, as if looking for hatred or rejection. 

I opened my mouth to speak again, to comfort her, to tell her I was too, but nothing came out. Luckily I didn't really need to talk. 

"I know you might hate me for this, but I just kind of want to do this again, without everyone else watching." She lightly held my chin with her fingertips and her lips melted into mine again. 

The spark came back, shooting into my senses and filling me with happiness. Her arms wrapped around me, resting on my waist. I held her face in my hands and kissed her deeper, allowing the kiss to get where it had started to go earlier. 

Too soon, we had to pull away. Both of us were breathing pretty hard, having hardly gotten any oxygen, but we were both smiling. 

"So, I'm guessing you don't hate me?" 

"Not exactly." I grinned, then shivered a little. 

"Cold? It really isn't too warm out here." She unfolded the blanket and put it on top of our legs, and put her arm around me, pulling me closer. 

I smiled up at her and snuggled my head in the crook of her neck. I didn't think I'd ever felt that happy up until that moment. But then all of a sudden Estelle stiffened. "Jo..." She pushed me away, scooting all the way to the other side of the bench. I was slightly hurt until I noticed someone opening the back door. 

"What are you guys doing out here?" Estelle's mom asked. "It's only about fifteen degrees!" 

"Mom, it's warmer than that," Estelle laughed. 

"Still, what are you doing out here?" 

"We wanted to talk but we didn't want to wake anyone else up. We couldn't sleep." I was relieved that she talked--my mind was still swirling from her lips and touch. 

"Well, I get that, but please come in now, before you turn into icicles." 

Estelle nodded, and her mom went back inside. We saw her disappear around a corner inside the house and suddenly Estelle was right next to me. 

"One more thing," she whispered, and kissed me one more time, gentle but sweet. Then she took my hand and led me back inside, only letting go when I was back by my sleeping bag. She went back to hers, and I snuggled back into the cloth, zipping myself in. 

It was safe to say I was very glad I'd come.