Should Have Known (Camren)

Chapted 28

June, 2013

Another week passed and May turned to June. Lauren made no effort to patch the holes that had been shot through both our hearts on the night of the fight. Our seven month anniversary passed without so much as an acknowledging nod. I wasn't angry with her at that point. I was broken. I felt myself slipping away with each day that passed without her by my side. She stayed with Ally every night and left me alone in the bed that was much too big for one person. I couldn't sleep at all, and by the time we were set to write our final song for the EP, I was too exhausted to even function. Lauren and I avoided each other at all costs, either because we didn't know who should make the first move towards an apology, or because we didn't think there was anything left to salvage.

I personally prayed every single day that Lauren would walk into our room one morning and kiss me. Not apologize, not beg for my affection, just kiss me to show me that she still cared, but of course she never did. I was too afraid to make the first move. I wanted to fix things more than anything, but I couldn't stand the idea of being rejected by someone who, at one point, had given me more affection than everyone in my life combined.

I talked to Dinah and Normani about how I was feeling and they were a great help, but I felt as though I couldn't voice all my frustrations out loud, so I wrote them down. I stayed up late one night and turned my thoughts into a song, and before I knew it I had crafted something that only music could portray.

We were at the studio for the last time before the release of our first single,

Miss Movin' On, and I had one thing on my mind. L.A. sat down with us outside the booth and began the familiar lecture that regarded song writing, but I cut him off mid sentence.

"I have a song already," I told him.

"Oh...well...if the other girls have heard it and are okay with it," he said uncertainly.

"No one has heard it yet," I admitted. "I just finished it two nights ago."

He sat back in his chair and let a small chuckle escape his lips. "How do you expect to bring a song that you just finished into my studio and allow me to put it on your first ever EP? You're biting off more than you can chew."

"If you would just listen to it I think you would feel differently," I begged.

He rolled his eyes and nodded towards me, giving me the green light. I grabbed a guitar from the corner of the studio and positioned myself in between Dinah and Ally. Lauren sat across from me but avoided my gaze as I began to strum.

I picked out the most significant verse and sang the words quietly, trying not to get choked up.

"Monday you had my heart

Tuesday you had me screaming

Wednesday we didn't part

Thursday you didn't mean it

Friday I shook it off

Saturday fell back in love

Sunday I said I needed space..."

I looked up at Lauren and hoped she would catch on, but she still seemed indifferent. I wasn't sure that she was even listening.

"Do you miss me?

Am I crazy?

Am I losing hold of your love baby?"

Her green eyes snapped towards me and lingered on my lips, listening as the lyrics poured out of them.