Should Have Known (Camren)

Chapter 14

The day of the third live show quickly approached. I was excited to go on stage, but I felt an emptiness in my chest upon realization that the competition was now down to the Top 10 contestants, and by the following week, it would be down to eight. The competition was racing by, and it worried me that with each performance, we were either a step closer to elimination, or a step closer to winning and then going our separate ways.

The pressure was way too much for me. I loved it, but I knew that it was only a matter of time before I cracked. I needed someone to talk to about everything- my frustration with Keaton, my relationship with Camila, my fears of the show quickly coming to a close. I only knew one person that I could confess everything to.

I knocked on Dinah's door and she immediately opened it, smiling when she saw me standing in front of her.

"Is anyone else here?" I whispered.

She shook her head no and invited me inside.

"Judging by the look on your face, I can only assume you're here to vent," she observed, pulling out one of the barstools and motioning for me to take a seat at the one next to her.

I sat down and buried my face in my hands, unsure of where to start.

"Talk to Doctor Dinah," she prompted, rubbing my back supportively.

"I'm just...I'm just so...frustrated," I spat. "This is all so much pressure and I don't know how much more I can handle before I blow up."

"What exactly are you referring to? Camila, the show, what?" she asked.

"Both, plus Keaton," I answered.

"Okay, let's start with the show."

I told her about how I was worried that our group would be separated after the show whether we won or not, and that I didn't know what I would do without my best friends by my side. Aside from the dull ache in my chest as the realization that the show wouldn't last forever replayed over and over in my mind, I was also stressed because of the amount of pressure we were all under. Rehearsal every day, barely any free time, the early morning hours, the late nights, and more importantly, the paparazzi.

"It's like all eyes are on me now that this stupid publicity stunt has taken off," I huffed.

"Right, which brings us to Keaton. What's going on with him?" she pressed.

"This stupid stunt is driving me nuts," I explained. "It's all a lie and I feel like I'm cheating Camz even though we aren't official. I know she doesn't like it, but what am I supposed to do? Hurt Keaton? Come clean and have everyone hate me- and us- for lying? I can't tell him no, but it kills me to tell him yes."

I told her about how we had compromised and agreed that it would only last three more days, but I wasn't so sure.

"I feel like he's going to take advantage of me now that he knows I can't tell him no once our three days are up," I said. "I can't do it anymore. As much as I hate to admit it, it's tearing me and Camz apart. I can see the hurt in her eyes when he pulls me away from her and I just...I can't stand that look. I can't hurt her, not when things are going so well for us."

I continued with the next topic- Camila- knowing that I had successfully spilled all of my Keaton drama.

"I'm so afraid of hurting her," I admitted, my voice slightly above a whisper.

"If things are going so well, why are you so worried about hurting her?" Dinah questioned.

I sighed, not wanting to speak the fears that had been haunting my mind aloud but knowing that I had to or else I would snap.