Should Have Known (Camren)

Chapter 23

"Can we go somewhere?" she asked me, her voice hushed even though we were alone. "I need to talk to you."

I nodded and followed her down the street, staying behind her in case I had done something wrong. She didn't speak to me until we arrived at a small coffee shop on the corner and she led me inside, finding a table for two in the very back of the building.

"Are you getting anything?" she asked flatly.

I shook my head no.

"Look, Camz, I need to talk to you about something that's been bothering me since day one," she continued, fidgeting with the sugar container.

"Did I do something?" I worried.

"No...not really. Not intentionally," she answered.

I wondered what could have possibly been eating at the back of her mind for the past two months that was too hard for her to tell me about to begin with. Unintentionally or not, I had caused her some sort of grief, and it pained me to think about what I could have possibly done.

"This is probably going to sound really stupid," she sighed. "I should expect it but it's hard for me to accept so just hear me out, okay?"

I bit down on my bottom lip nervously, waiting for her to continue.

"First of all, I need to know if you...you know...if you like girls, like, for real," she said.

I rolled my eyes and leaned back in my chair. "Is this about your sexuality? We already decided that we weren't going to label ourselves."

"But other people are labeling me," she defended. "Do you have any idea how much shit I've gotten over the past few weeks for dating a girl? They treat me like I'm not even human, or the ones who are okay with it try to force me into being a lesbian and only a lesbian."

"How are people giving you any kind of shit at all if we haven't even officially come out?" I snapped. "You've tried so hard to keep it a secret all this time. I haven't gotten any shit for it."

"Because of Michael."

"What does Michael have to do with it?" I nearly shouted. "I haven't talked to him in weeks, Lauren."

"But people like the idea of you two together. You and Michael. A girl and a guy. Nothing wrong with that, right?" she explained.

"Have you even seen how many people want us together? Practically our entire fan base is begging us to date," I reminded her.

She shook her head and leaned forward against the table, realizing the conversation had gone off track, "I need you to know that I'm not gay, okay? I'm in love with you, but I'm not gay, and I'm worried that if maybe you are, you'll expect more from me than I can actually give you."

"Lauren, it doesn't matter if I'm gay or not. I'm not going to date anyone besides you, okay? So it doesn't make a difference if I like girls or guys or both. It doesn't matter," I huffed. "And I'm sorry people are giving you shit, but what the hell does that have to do with me? Nobody even knows that we're dating besides our friends and family. The things that people outside of our circle say...none of it matters. They're just words. So please, tell me the real reason that you brought me all the way to this coffee shop to sit here, not even drink any coffee, and talk about our sexuality."

She buried her face in her hands and rubbed her temples, evidentially defeated.

"I can't do it Camz," she whispered. "I can't be in love with you and have people tell me it's wrong. It fucking hurts and I don't want to hear it, and I'm worried that the more I hear..."