Dork Diaries: Tales From a NOT-SO-Reasonable Relationship (2)

MONDAY JUNE 30TH:

Brandon's Journal:

Today was Nikki's 16th birthday.

This morning we decided to surprise her by waiting outside of her hotel room, and when she opened the door we showered her with confetti. We have all been secretly planning this day for an entire week now.

I can't express how happy it made me feel to see Nikki's face brighten up with a smile as we presented her with her ticket.

She worked so hard yesterday, it's only fair that today she should have fun.

The grand plan was to go to a theme park.

I remember Nikki telling me how much she loved roller coasters and I knew that this would be the perfect gift for her.

Unfortunately, I'm the exact opposite. I HATE ROLLER COASTERS!

Since a young age I have always had a fear of heights, it sucks and I try to keep it a secret. Who knows what kind of damage that it would do to my reputation if that little secret got out.

Then again, I am scared of many things... Heights, Limos, Loss etc.

But enough about that, today is not about me. It's about my Girlfriend, so be a man Roberts and show some courage.

The park wasn't very crowded today since it's a Monday, so many would be customers would have had to go to work instead. But the fact that the park wasn't as crowded wasn't helping me at all since the lines aren't as long.

And someone who loves roller coasters as much as Nikki does would obviously want to share this experience with her boyfriend... Which is me.

So I was dragged onto 2 coasters by Nikki, these coasters were TRAUMATIZING! They were way too fast and way too high for me to handle.

And then Nikki had the audacity to say that those two coasters were NOTHING compared to one of the coasters at the park.

BRANDON: "Oh really? I know that those coasters were nothing. I've seen scarier kiddie rides than those small things. Where's this coaster at?"

Opening my big mouth, I realised that I has just signed my own death certificate.

Because Nikki pointed to this giant roller coaster in the distance. I couldn't help but just stare wide-eyed and paralyzed by fear.

MAXWELL: "You sound pretty confident Brandon. You sure that you're up for that coaster? It looks pretty high, so high in fact that it reaches the clouds. Maybe even space. Are you sure you're not showing signs of fear?"

Please, not now Negrini...

BRANDON: "Uh, no way! Of course I'm riding that thing, in fact I'm even going to wait in line for the front seats!"

I continued to dig myself a deeper grave.

MAXWELL "That's pretty brave of you Brandon, I'll wait in line with you and we can both ride in the front seats."

He said this with a sinister smirk on his face.

NIKKI: "Hey guys, don't forget about me!"

Nikki said with a smile.

MAXWELL "Great idea! The three of us can ride together. Nikki, you can sit between us in the middle."

And so I was forced to wait in line for my own death.

OPERATOR: "Next please."

The operator signalled us to take our seats.

Maxwell sat to the right, Nikki sat in the middle and I took the last seat to the left. I gazed into the distance at the track that I would be forced to travel. I said my final prayers before...

BRANDON: "AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The coaster moved at a blistering speed.

I felt like I was going to pass out as I went up, then down, then up, then down, then upside down, left, right, in, out, in, out, YOU SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT!

And finally the ride was over, I was broken. A shell of my former self, nothing remained... Only fear.

NIKKI: "Wasn't that amazing guys?!"

BRANDON: "Yes, that was amazing."

I said in a monotonous voice that sounded almost like a robot.

NIKKI: "I swear that this coaster feels smaller every time. This coaster is nothing compared to those in other states."

REALLY?!

I was then surprised by a pat on the back.

MAXWELL: "That was a pretty brave move of you there Roberts, remember I can tell when a person is scared just by looking at them. Well done for riding that coaster, you made Nikki's special day one to remember for the rest of her life."

BRANDON: "Thanks man. But why are you trembling?"

MAXWELL: "No...reason...But hey you got on that coaster, I guess all that you needed was that little extra push."

BRANDON: "Ha ha, very funny."

I rolled my eyes at his comment.